Friday, December 31

New Years' Resolutions

Do you believe in them or not? I don't. I think they set you up for disappointment. I do, however, plan to do a few things differently in my life, starting soon. I want to take a yoga class, which is more something I just quit doing 6 months ago than a resolution for the next year. I want to get more involved with membership recruiting efforts for my young professionals' group, too. No way am I resolving to be nicer or lose weight or any of those sterotypes. However, after last night's chips & salsa fest with Kizzle & CBopp, I do plan not to eat any more fried tortillas for a while.

Update: 72 degrees on New Year's Eve--?

This is actually pretty nice, as if I live in California. Maybe I should move. . . except for the cost of living. Am I spoiled, poor, or unadventurous? Or do all three of those things contribute to my reluctance to leave Memphis? It's getting to be that time when one evaluates one's life priorities -- graduation is a year away, but before I know it time will have flown. I mean, damn! I'm three months from 30! Gasp! Maybe it's just the end of the year talkin'.

Happy Birthday, Kizzle!

It's the big 3-0 for the M to the K! Hip hop hooray!

64 degrees on New Year's Eve--?

Weird. Listening to india.arie (does anyone know why her name must be spelled like that?) which somehow suits the day. . . not exactly a holiday feel to it. Somebody needs to do something about our crazy weather before we turn into The Day After Tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 29


So, Jerry Orbach has died. Does this somehow seem more personal than the Tsunami deaths of 80,000 people we never saw, and probably never would see? Am I callous to point that out? I know I am not the only person who feels this way -- that is, that a massive tragedy unlike any seen in the last century is more surreal and distant than such a small thing as a single death. But somehow one person dying is a manageable sadness, and something you can get your mind around. I'm sure I sound harsh, and I know if I lived there or knew someone visiting there it would all feel very different. But 100 years ago, we would'nt have known about this instantaneously, and it would not have obsessed our media. Or at least our media would not have obsessed us (?). This story from Sri Lanka was interesting -- apparently, all the animals sensed it and headed for the hills. Too bad humans have lost this instinct. B'friend heard on one (and only one) news channel this week that the U.S. Seismology Incident Command Center had attempted repeatedly, and for hours, to contact these countries to warn them of the quake. Of course, now we can't find it.

I'm back, folks!

Sorry to be off the radar for so long, but I have managed to follow the holiday vacation up with a post-vacation cold, on top of the mid-holiday move we're making at the office. I say we, but I sit here as others pack up the furniture. I did help yesterday, and I'm taking my files over myself this afternoon, so I feel absolved of any feelings of guilt. Plus -- I just started working there less than 3 months ago, so how much of that crap can I really be held responsible for?

Here's another poetical spam

"Oops... :) tirade Ogumeho At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. It is the nature of all greatness not to be exact. Wine hath drowned more men than the sea. The race of man, while sheep in credulity, are wolves for conformity. Petty laws breed great crimes. Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.We are called to be architects of the future, not its victims. His genius he was quite content in one brief sentence to define Of inspiration one percent, of perspiration, ninety nine. In cross examination, as in fishing, nothing is more ungainly than a fisherman pulled into the water by his catch. Interdependency follows independence. A man can do anything he wants to do in this world, at least if he wants to do it badly enough. Enthusiasm is everything. It must be taut and vibrating like a guitar string. A man ought to live so that everybody knows he is a Christian... and most of all, his family ought to know. Traveling makes a man wiser, but less happy. The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time. My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. Maybe the only thing worse than having to give gratitude constantly is having to accept it" I think my favorite line is: "The race of man, while sheep in credulity, are wolves for conformity." Where do they get this stuff???

Sunday, December 19

news flash!

Hitler was a tax dodger. Who knew it would be so easy to get those pesky debts forgiven once you established dominance in the government? Let's see what Bush's finances look like these days. . . .

Friday, December 17

quittin' tiiime!

So, after this weekend, during which I will be very busy and possibly will neglect you, I am headed to my sister's for the holiday. In case you don't hear from me for a while, do not be alarmed! I shall return after Christmas weekend. B'friend is very concerned about working in the nether regions of our community, namely DeSoto county. He says no one lives there. He says it is just 'on the way to casinos.' He says nothing happens there. How is he expected to write news stories there?

Thursday, December 16


Cause he complimented my blog, so he must be cool. It is nice to have a place I can go where other people hate the Prez, like good music, understand a sense of humor & don't hate people cause we are different. Speaking of which, Fresh Air had this fascinating homophobe (sorry, anti-homosexual) on today, and it actually made me think, something conservatives seldom do anymore. Remember the days when you were still figuring out who you were -- finding yourself, whatever -- and you actually thought & reacted to prejudiced people & statements? Anymore I just let them roll off like water off the quack back. But this guy was interesting in that he let me see, for a moment anyway, what life on the other side is like. Think about it. For those who believe we are trying to corrupt them with our gay-embracing ways, that acceptance equals joining the fags, life is really intrinsically different than it is for the rest of us.

Wednesday, December 15

Spooky Spam!

So I never normally read spam, gramatically incorrecct though that is, with the double negative and all, but today I peeked. Why? Cause the sender was "Squashiest K. Cognizance" -- would you not have looked??? So here it is: To give up pretensions is as blessed a relief as to get them ratified. Consider your breed you were not made to live like beasts, but to follow virtue and knowledge. You cannot explain failure any more than you can argue with success. And what a delight it is to make friends with someone you have despised. Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool. I guess I don't so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old. A goal properly set is halfway reached. Better do a good deed near at home than go far away to burn incense. Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability.In time we hate that which we often fear. I don't have a warm personal enemy left. They've all died off. I miss them terribly because they helped define me. It's easier traveling the road of life when I don't have so much to carry on my back. If all I'm remembered for is being a good basketball player, then I've done a bad job with the rest of my life. An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it. There is no such thing as accidental failure. All failure is at least half imposed. Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking. Keep a fair-sized cemetery in your back yard, in which to bury the faults of your friends. Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid. Dang.

My to-do list

write Xmas cards, including making list of recipients. shop for all Xmas presents besides the 2 have bought online. make fabulous gifts for people I don't want to spend money one but must get something for anyway. actually mail Xmas cards, before Xmas! enjoy holidays.

Tuesday, December 14

I can hear 'em talkin'. . .

. . .but that's about it. There was a story in the Memphis daily paper that says they're proposing adding 12" bike lanes to North Pky. (I'd link to it, but you have to subscribe & it's just not worth all the trouble). So maybe I'll get a bike if that day ever comes. . . yah, riiiiiight. In a related story, The Onion gets to the heart of the mass transit matter. Is this too real to be humorous? I know you never follow links, Jam Master J, but you'd appreciate this one. Trust me.

Look here.

No, here. Why the hell can't I link anything in the title anymore? Crap. Once again, The Onion is right on: Masonic iconography not as powerful as it once was. . . ha-ha! European Union more unified than U.S. . . . hee-hee! If this wasn't in Top 10 form, it could have been a real news story.

Up til (hopefully not) dawn?

There are like 3.000 reasons I can't sleep -- none of them enough alone to keep me up, but together they pack quite a wallop. Boyfriend is too tall to sleep in bed traditional way, so he has chosen the diagonal position. Also he came in before I had reached REM & therefore it's like I haven't been to bed at all yet. In his defense, I did go to bed before 11pm (early exam = good excuse for old-person-like behavior). My neighbors have moved out and their screen door keeps banging in the wind. Also had to have salty chips & baloney sandwich. Man, it's good to be a grownup & be able to do whatever the hell you want, even eat crappy food at 1am! Of course, being childless, I can come home & take a nap tomorrow. It's pathetic how much I would resent having to give all this up for someone else. Why do people even have kids? Am I just selfish, or lazy, or both? (No need to comment on this. Or to talk amongst yourselves, either.) Kizzle, if your'e still reading at this point, I promised you the Urban Dictionary. I think you will like the definition for a child's rubber change keeper. Ta-ta for now!

Monday, December 13

Am I the only one who doesn't care???

I am sooooo over Scott Peterson in the news. Am I the only one who wishes someone would pull a John Hinckley, Jr. on him?

Sunday, December 12

Sweetback = groovy!

And no, I did not buy their album based on the name of the Melvin van Peebles flick. Okay, so maybe that helped me to remember their name. Otherwise I'd just have known 'three guys who were with Sade back in the day' and that's not a section in Cat's Music. Which reminds me, I still haven't seen Baadassss! yet, cause it was either not here or I missed the one week it played in Memphis. Too bad, cause I'd realy like to have seen it in the theatre. When I see so many stupid movies in theatres, it's an even worse shame not to catch films I actually might like while they're running. I am doing this instead of studying. That's okay, cause I was looking at Rx List instead of studying, which seems worse now my psychopharmacology class is done.

Thursday, December 9

Must be a son of a fallen soldier. . .

This struck me as a strange photo, although I myself have been caught in those off moments in photographs before. But I just couldn't get over the idea that this kid must have been really, really, really upset about something to snuggle up to a guy who looks like that.

Wednesday, December 8

How do you want your friends to plan your funeral?

Something like cremation & being thrown away at the local bowling alley, or perhaps a more civilized pyre? Seriously, we never talk about these things at our age, (and here I'm assuming again that I know you) but they are possible realities for us anyway. I tried to talk to my mom about cremation once, but she refused to even have the conversation. The truth is that she & my dad have the final say. So why should I not be able to discuss it with them?

Friday, December 3

Countries with Porn-Star Names

This Achewood strip is a little behind, but has a timeless humor I think you can appreciate. Otherwise, why would you be reading this fine blog?

And now this:

Too Gay for Greeks: Lawyers threaten 'Alexander' suit Yahoo! News - Too gay for Greeks: Lawyers threaten 'Alexander' suit: "Although Varnakos had not yet seen the film, he claimed there was enough evidence to point to the film's inaccurate references."

Thursday, December 2

Colin Farrell as the gay Greek hero, Alexander:

too far-fetched or too tasty? Interesting that will gay marriage in the forefront of the news lately, a major film portrays an historical hero figure as gay. What is the political agenda of Hollywood? Notice that Achilles had a young male lover in The Illiad, but they left that out of Troy. On another note, I wonder: Is it enough that a film simply entertain you to be a good film? Or is there a higher purpose -- to educate you, make you think, give you different perspective? I understand all this is subjective, that what you want in a film is a personal choice, but I do wish people would think about these things before they tell you a movie is "good" or recommend you see it. They know what's up in France: French film not French enough

Wednesday, December 1

Sorry for the blackout

I actually just f*cked up something on my blog where I couldn't edit posts, so I laid low for a few days after returning from vacation. Much-needed vacation, I might add. I feel a million billion times better now! I thought it was strange that fall break did absolutely nothing in the way of giving me a break, until I realized that I spent the whole weekend studying for an exam (on which I made the worst grade I've made in that class, I might add). Never again -- next time I'm taking all the breaks they will give me. And then some, if ya knowhaddamean. So, sorry to have neglected you so terrribly. I see you have still been checkin' the blog pulse in the meantime, so fanks for dat. Exams are looming -- prepare for another period of silence -- but I should be back to normal in a week or two. It is sooooo true that time speeds up in exponential proportion to one's age. I'm gettin' old, guys. My consolation is: So are you!

Saturday, November 27

Welcome Back, Kotter

Sorry I have been silent so long, but the holidays screw everything up. Since you did not share tips for things to do on my Vegas trip I am still debating whether or not to share details with you. I will get back with you shortly.

Wednesday, November 17

My so-called life pt. 2

So I have come to the end of my free leadership in one volunteer organization, and now embark on paid leadership in another. Sounds good, right? But when you're paid you are a Pavlovian dog, barking when asked, hushing when told. Now that I think of it, who really listened when I barked before? The crickets maybe, but. . . okay, analogy taken too far. I get it. On a lighter note, I am having an appreciation party for the people who actually helped me out in 2004. On the dark side, it will be at my house. So, how to keep the dogs off the furniture (namely the all-black, long-haired dog from the yellow chaise lounge?) until then? Trying to get pet pics online, for those of you who have yet to see the Akita next to the retriever. It is a funny sight. When they play they are so considerate of one another -- the giant lies on the floor so the ballerina-ankled 55-pounder can have the advantage. Man, do I love my dogs. I sometimes think my b'friend could move out, and if he left his dog I might not even notice!

Friday, November 12

Dirty, Dirty Vegas

Soliciting comments for things to do in Vegas over Thanksgiving. Any ideas? I have a few already, but your help here would save me spending $17 on a proper guidebook.

Thursday, November 11

My so-called life pt. 1

Went to another meeting tonight, this time the membership arm of the organization which shall remain nameless. It's funny how important the right leader is. I could tell we were all getting off track at certain points in the evening, but not only did our fearless leader a) Not make people feel bad for it, but he also B) Let us out on time! And I got a real sandwich and glass of wine. I don't care what people think, I'd rather have edible food than free food. So I have very positive feelings going into 2005 with this crew. I think chairing a subcommittee is fraught with dangers, like the unknown parts on 15th-century maps of the world: "Here Be Monsters," they used to write. And they were right. Monster-slaying is also a thankless job. So, tomorrow's film might be the Che Guevara junt. It had better not be a cartoon superhero thingy, after my previous rant. I have had plenty of kid movies after Spiderman 2, Catwoman, Shark Tale -- it's not like I have an obligation to support the industry or anything. They will be fine, with all the people we see dragging their kids to movie theatres. We actually heard an infant babbling all thru "Ray" -- duuuurr! Or tomorrow's movie might be Bridget Jones, if a certain person whom I used to work with calls me back. I called her twice already, so it's on her. She said Bridget Jones didn't seem like my kind of flick -- any thoughts, those who know me?

Wednesday, November 10

David Gest is coming, and he's bringing friends!

I know you don't know who he is, until I say Liza Minelli married him so she could beat him up. And we are the luck recipients of his magnanimous heart. Joy to the world, the Lord of Memphis has come!

Tuesday, November 9

By special request

Some "person" who shall remain nameless (J) requested I do more on my own life, which is fine and all -- but I don't want to bore you guys. If real life bores you, like it does me when I'm reading about other people, stop immediately! I went to a board meeting of the membership organization to which I belong (that shall remain nameless) for like 3 whole hours last night. Which should have been followed by 3 whole martinis at Swig, but I was too tired to even finish the second. What I wanted made the bartender come all the way over and warn me against. He said it would "make [my] eyes pucker" to drink a lemondrop without the sugar. Puh-lease. I suck limes for kicks. But the owner was sitting with a friend of ours, who of course was sitting with us, and did the whole "You know this is my place, right?" sleazy swinger thing. I think he's gay & we're all ladies, but still... ewwww, ick. Like I'm impressed. Yes, I'm thankful that you brought this place to town, but get over yourself. Immediately. ANYway, the board meeting was for re-organization, a mini-strategic planning, and the sort of thing where (as those of you who know me personally already are aware) I tend to stick out. Cause I comment constantly. About everything. But guess who was the bigger blabber? Kerr Tigrett, who is honestly as bad as I thought. When your reputation precedes you, it's usually a bad thing. Trust me. There were probably half a dozen people who spoke up as often as I did, or more so, which was good for the planning process. I just hate that some people important to the process were not able to make it. Oooop, Dave Chapelle's on, gotta motor. More later, kids!


COGIG is a cult that takes over Memphis each fall, and the COGICs are their fearless members, valiantly risking tickets and verbal abuse about town with their blatant disregard for the local law; heroically storming area restaurants and refusing to respect the filthy wait staff; and bravely driving all other business from town that week, including local patrons. I guess you might say it's just a convention. Seriously, though, people in the restaurant business report bad treatment, no tips, etc.; I have been informed by the daughter of a fire chief that they are allowed to park at the risk of blocking hydrants, fire lanes, etc.; and everyone in general loves to see them go. And as you see, they are not just a house of worship. They are in the business of landlording it over us now, too. Don't be fooled by the message of creating affordable housing, my people.

Stage Beauty (tha movie)

Okay, so I've been slow about this. Screw you -- I have more to do than tell your sorry asses about movies you are too lazy to go see. Just kiddin'! I have been quite disappointed to hear that everyone on Planet Earth went to see The Incredibles this weekend. Losers. It's a freakin' comedy for kids, and no, you do not need to recapture your youth. Remember that when you were a little tyke all you wanted was to be big (and now you are -- see my airline post). My solace is in Alfie sucking wind (ha! screw you, too, remake!) So, anyway, the topic at hand is Stage Beauty, starring Billy Crudup (who was funny on The Daily Show), Claire Danes, whom I loved, and Rupert Everett, whom I will always love. (And, yeees, it is "whom" -- trust me, I suffered thru a full 85 minutes of grammar today, kids.) I suppose it was a comedy, albeit a touching one -- Claire Danes just has this way of making you exist in her skin -- so it was a good combo of lightness/downer. I saw it with Colie, who called me out halfway through the film (and the glass of wine -- yay for Studio on the Square!) for clutching my nose like it was about to fall off. Those of you who know me know that I do that reflexively when it is cold, which those of you who know me also know is half the damned time. SO, go see it, babies, instead of more silly spoon-fed cartoons.

Monday, November 8

The COGICs are coming!

Well, it ain't so bad, cause so is Norah Jones.

Sunday, November 7

Today's tip: Go on a diet.

And we thought high gasoline prices were behind the fare increases on major airlines. I suppose it is a kind of Catch-22, because slimmer passengers would require less fuel consumption, but if people were just as fat & fuel cost less, prices would go down proportionally. I'm still going on a diet.

Happy birthday, Ethan Hawke

you cheating b*st*rd! I am a day late, due to some technical difficulties involving my personal life. . . In case you slept well last night, here is a new nightmare for you. (This coming from a girl who spent her formative years within spitting distance of a nuclear facility.) If it's fish today, what will it be tomorrow? Saw this new/old TV for sale today -- is it not insane that we are regressing in invention to the point that new things are only cool if they look old? Except for mobile phones, I guess. They have yet to invent one with a rotarty-look display (as far as I know anyway).

Saturday, November 6

One-line Movie Reviews

Haven't done my film reviews in a while. This fall's offerings have been pretty slim, in my opinion, with the exception of "Ray" -- better acting by far than "Ali" although quite similar in feel, era, issues. [Replace 'religious politics' and 'boxing' with 'drugs' and 'music'.] B'friend/in-house movie critic felt the difference was due to Michael Mann (Heat) directing "Ali" -- as opposed to Taylor Hackford, who is responsible for "When We Were Kings" (the 'other' Muhammed Ali movie). Of course, I have seen other films recently: Not so recently, I saw Hero, but I know it didn't get shown everywhere, so if you have a chance to see it on DVD, do so. I also liked i heart huckabees, as I think I have already mentioned. Not bad, actually: Mr. 3000 cause I love Bernie Mac. Not to spoil it for you, but Paul Sorvino is perfect as team manager -- although he has almost no lines in this. Shark Tale -- cute, but I think b'friend laughed more at the preview of it than during the actual film. Going to see Stage Beauty tonight, so I'll let y'all know how that is -- should be entertaining. Looking forward to: Motorcycle Diaries (yes, it's out, I just didn't get around to it before it left the theatres here); Kinsey, for curiosity's sake; Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, which is kinda weird cause b'friend thinks I look like her -- is it before or after the movie weight?; and Finding Neverland. . . or am I? It must just be the pull of the Depp!

Welcome back!

I think I am recovering from the election now -- whew! I hope it was not just me who has been driven to distraction by the whole fiasco. Was the rest of the world completely sane? Check this out!

Wednesday, November 3

Truly the end now.

Big K has finally given up the ghost, life is returning to its normal state of chaos, explosions, and baaaaaaad international diplomacy. This is what's been running through my mind today. Call me a sore loser. So people are asking, what's going on in that monkey noggin? Who is the real Bush 2? And what's he going to unleash now -- good, better, or worse? Ya know what, dumbasses? We're not winning a war on terror. We're not actually fighting one, in fact. didn't know I was unAmerican


Well, that's all, folks. We tried. . . I know they are saying it's still up in the air, but I'm sure the Republican shenanigans have enabled the Bush machine to steal the vote again. The silver lining is 125 million voters are estimated to have particpated in this election.

Tuesday, November 2


If you haven't voted, you have no choice but to DIE, according to P. Diddy (Diddy P?). I am so nervous -- sweaty palms, dry mouth, heart palpitations just thinking about the next 4 years. The current electoral vote predictor says it's basically a tie. Crap! If we have the evil monkey as President again, I will kick something really, really hard! (Don't worry, Max!) I saw a funny bumper sticker today -- it looked exactly like the "W The President" ones, excpet it read "F The President". Hee-hee! Why are liberals so much funnier than conservatives? Here is some joke material for you fellow W-haters. Watch this while you wait for election results.

Monday, November 1

Sorry I haven't more time to post

Sorry I haven't more time to entertain; go here and take The Classic IQ Test. And go vote tomorrow, dammit! I mean it!

Sunday, October 31

In case you aren't scared into voting by now:

Read this on the Supreme Court; And this from Washington Post on the electoral college; And this to keep up on the electoral vote count; And this -- RIP, Kilgore Trout! This should remind you that people do reward a pretty good President sometimes. Even if he has sex and we know about it. Ewwwww. And this, of course, is the worst. So go vote, dammit. Illegetimi non carborundum!

Thursday, October 28

This actually happens in Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

The News Vault - Love-Making Couple Sparks Police Emergency With Phone Call. Hey, people, check out Observatorium and write something funny (since you're not too busy posting on my site!). I will return when I have located a wig cap. Ciao.

Wednesday, October 27

Hot new toy -- get one while they last!

George W. Bush's "Dishonest Dubya" Lying Action Figure Doll! This will be the Cabbage Patch Doll of this decade.

Please, please. . . puh-leaze!

You've gotta vote. Vote early, vote often! But only if you're voting for the right people. Or at least not the very, very wrong incumbents. Look at this story on what could lie ahead if we Dems sit on our rumps. I'd rather move to Toronto like my buddies in Cooper-Young.

Tuesday, October 26

News flash: Halloween banned

Ananova - Halloween banned - to save witches' feelings

Holy crap -- and you were afraid roaches were going to be the death of the human race!

How did I miss this: Is That a Pilot in Your Pocket? I feel like I've heard about nothing but Superman's death the past few days, and this totally slipped by me! And you thought Castro was indestructible. . . . Can you imagine what they'd do to you if you were the unfortunate soul he tripped over? Reminds me, can't wait to see Motorcycle Diaries this weekend. Sorry I haven't seen it yet, but it was between that and i heart Huckabees this weekend (here's the trailer). A toss-up.

Monday, October 25

New Job

Second day on the new job today was good, in a sink-or-swim kind of way. I was given a timeline for an event (I am an events coordinator now) and told to reorder it, reassigning responsibilities so that everything is done by the proper committee. Good think I have committee titles, cause I have no idea who's on them yet. Think this will be fun, hopefully not more fun than school or grades may suffer. But, seriously, how many weeks can one spend in class and still be stimulated? I loved summer session!

New Music

B'friend got some promotional cd's from work, so I have been listening to Ben Harper & the Blind Boys of Alabama and some guy/group called Louque from Louisiana by way of Brooklyn. Very laid-back, ambient jazzy feel to it, but it's classified under rock. The genre, not the calcified mineral.

Sunday, October 24

Pumpkin Carving 101

Thanks to everyone who came to the pumpkin carving hosted by moi yesterday. Perfect weather, giant pumpkins, Reggae music -- what more could you ask for? And the best part of all -- every jack o'lantern was a winner! (Especially drag/pimp pumkin & cyclops witch.) Back to the grind, even though it's a gorgeous day out, cause I have papers to revise & work to do for my actual job -- woo-hoo! Yes, I started on Friday, and though I'll only be working part-time, it will be nice to have another outlet for my seeingly infinite capacity to create & micro-manage. Just kiddin. Glad to be with a non-profit that actually sees its job as being a contributing member of the community, rather than one which expects the community to bow down before it. Grrrr.

Thursday, October 21

Kinsey Report is back in fashion, whodda thunk it?

Remember learning about the first sex study ever done and thinking, gosh, how dumb were people back then? But that is actually a narrow-minded, teenaged way of thinking (it was mine, anyway). The Kinsey Report came out in 1948, when people thought the only position was missionary and only fruits thought about anything else. He was a zoologist first. Hmmmm. . . . Well, you know there's a new book about all the history, and now a movie's coming out about it. Dunno how good it will be, but I will soon find out! You can actually participate in an online study on your moods/sexual responses.

Wednesday, October 20

Various things of interest

Bored? Want to feel like an art critic? Play the Art or Crap game, v. funny! Tale a bite out of crime, the safe way! I like this: Laughing Bank Clerk Humiliates Robber Oct 15, 11:49 AM (ET) ZAGREB (Reuters) - A Croatian armed robber abandoned a bank hold up after the cashier laughed at his order to stick 'em up, state news agency Hina reported on Thursday. The masked robber entered a bank at Zagreb's main square in plain daylight and threatened the clerk with his gun. "Knowing she was behind a bulletproof glass, the clerk laughed heartily, rang her boss to say she was being robbed and asked him to call the police," Zagreb police spokeswoman Gordana Vulama told the agency. The humiliated robber turned and took to his heels, she added. Thinking of not bathing today? Think again!

Sunday, October 17

Oh, god, ManDonna!

This is hilarious! Not much else to say today, except that, thankfully, I survived the storm! Oh, and go here for a Neopolitan Shooter recipe. Happy birthday to Wynton Marsalis & Jean-Claude Van Damme!

Had to change colors, folks

Every site I have visited on blogspot has that acid green, therefore is no longer cool enough for me. Have switched to Pepto Pink, if only temporarily. Let me know if you absolutely hate it. Have also tried to change commenting due to user complaints (sorry Rolfy)! Still on yesterday's paper, will read today's over lunch. Too much fun last night prevented breakfast, but feel better after home Pilates session. The revolution has begun! I can just see people all over Iraq transmogrifying from GI's into conscientious objectors, or at least people more concerned for their life than for Bush's idiotic nation-rebuilding scheme. Favorite bumper-sticker: "Regime Change Begins at Home" New movie about Bush's gift of gab. Unrelated funny/scary: Physics Professor Goes on Rage in Class Wed Oct 13, 11:12 PM ET LAFAYETTE, La. - A University of Louisiana at Lafayette physics professor was banned from the campus Wednesday and taken to the coroner's office for evaluation after threatening his class, university officials said. Student Kacie Spears said professor Louis Houston lost control right after class began Wednesday morning and was yelling obscenities. "Then he told us if we got out of our seats he's gonna kill us. He went on the black board and wrote "911 now", so we were really in fear for our lives," Spears told KATC-TV. Spears said Houston slapped a student and then told his class he was God. . . . A bomb dog was also brought in to check for explosives, but nothing was found. Spears said it wasn't the first time Houston had an outburst in class. "He's always acted a little strange, he's yelled and cursed before, and this time we waited for it to stop, but it never did," Spears says. Law enforcement officers transported Houston to the Lafayette Parish Coroner's Office to be evaluated for possible involuntary commitment to a mental health facility. In the meantime, Houston has been banned from the university's campus and his faculty duties have been suspended. University officials said in a statement they would make a final decision about Houston's employment once a full investigation into the incident is complete.

Saturday, October 16

Memphis finally made it into The Onion!

For better or for worse, here is the story. Too bad they couldn't get their musical genres correct, huh? In other news, I finally got some pictures for you people, only they won't be on here for a bit. Look for them HERE and I will (try to) post whenever I add any new ones. Thanks for patience!

The Surreal Life

This was kind of a funny story. What do you think it was, a cover-up for some heinous crime? I apologize in advance to the short-attention-spanners. The local daily paper won't let me link these stories properly, so this has turned out to be a super-long blog. It is now a crime to get a flu shot if you're healthy: AP by Amy F. Bailey LANSING, Mich.-- Thinking of trying to wheedle a flu shot from your doctor, even though you're not at high risk for flu complications? Forget about it in Michigan. Or Washington, D.C. Or Massachusetts. As the vaccine shortage hits home and long lines queue around the supermarket, a handful of states and the nation's capital are threatening doctors and nurses with fines or even jail if they give flu shots to healthy, low-risk people. This is, of course, due to the shortage of vaccination and the flu scare inflated by the media focus on the virus. Why are we so afraid of the flu, when the worst it means is a few days' illness? Because, as my sister showed me, the CDC lists "Flu/pneumonia" as the number 7 killer of white and Asian Americans each year with almost 70,000 deaths. Problem? Of course, that the flu alone really only kills you if you get dehydrated, which means a really, really bad hangover can also kill you. (Last time I went for 2-for-1 drink night I think I almost died of dehydration, too.) I understand the flu can kill older people, who catch pneumonia when they're already down with the flu, but you could just as easily say hospitals are the number one killer of Americans! Is it just me, or is the world going deeper off the Cliffs of Insanity each week? Because of this new classification of criminal behavior, perhaps, Michael Moore is too ill to come see us. Or was he just too frightened? In the news: Moore cancels Memphis visit October 16, 2004 Activist filmmaker Michael Moore is not coming to Memphis today after all. State Rep. Kathryn Bowers, chairman of the Shelby County Democratic Party, said Moore's "rally the troops" speech set for today was canceled because Moore was "ill with the flu" and because she was concerned about "security issues" involving a possible Republican Party protest. However, Moore's Friday night speech at the University of Nevada-Las Vegas was scheduled to go on as planned; and he is still scheduled to speak tonight at the University of Wisconsin at Madison. Bowers cited an E-mail sent out Monday by local Republican Party chairman Kemp Conrad as cause for concern. In the E-mail, Conrad called the rally "a hateful and partisan event." Fashion flash! Damn, and I just bought 12 new ponchos in every color of the rainbow! Happy Birthday Tim Robbins and John Mayer!

Come on & play! CORRECTED

Go here for a fun game. Did you read it yet? Well, go back and read it first. Then I want to know: What do you get if you are right but don't win? Ha! Screwed, probably. Update: Sorry for all you folks who tried to link up here; that is the price you pay for me having a free blog! Ha ha ha ha ha!! (evil laughter there)

Tuesday, October 12

Hey, Jay, if you're out there --

Ya gotta see This Land. Anyone else, it is recommended, while not required. And if that don't get ya, this new product will! Honestly, I just like looking at the pictures & imagining that is my hand and his actual head. Then comes the Kids in the Hall Head-Crusher-skit fantasy, in which Bush is standing on a streetcorner Somewhere in Canada, and Mark McKinney is wearing those glasses and going at it like madness. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! Ahem. I am wondering if I have the political stomach for the debate; last one was tolerable after a couple beers. Question: How do you know you're old? Answer: When your idea of a fun Friday night is downing a couple of pints and going home to watch political debates on the telly! More political crapola here. Who will be the first to say: "it's about F#*%ing time?!?" Allright, people, I have fixed the comment problem, and my counter is clicking you (no, I didn't start it out at zero) so feel free to expound away! (Oooh, just ended previous sentence in preposition; however am such the grammar nerd now that I can even explain the derivation of that superfluous rule!) Studying must be going to my head -- better get back to it! Ciao!

Sunday, October 10

The man who inspired my blog!

He actually is a cat! (I use waaaaaaay to many exclaimation points!) if you have not seen Achewood yet, you must see this one! Hi Andrew, it was v. good to hear from you last week. I shall write back soon. . . midterms loom! In the meanwhile, contratulations!!!!!

Wednesday, October 6

So I lied

When I said photos coming soon. If I could only figure out my photo software, or the b'friend would do it for me (better for me but equally less likely!). . . alas, I will have to put it off longer. Now that I'm fixin' to get ready to make preparatons for midterms, that is. See, in order to study I have to have a clean house. So I had to clean this weekend, right? And if I have laundry to do, well that just interrupts my studying! So I had to do that, too, as if it's not just going to pile up fast and furiously. But it all takes time to get the house ready -- and tomorrow is a meeting, then the King Biscuit Blues Fest this weekend, and then it will be time to get down to business! I promised some cool links and that is one, but I can do better: I don't know if this is even funny or just pathetic! Hokey LP art Get Fuzzy is the funniest comic strip our paper has, if not the funniest I've seen since Dilbert. Pink Rambler Story what the hell kind of drugs does your doctor have you taking? WMD (sorry but you must log in here -- you should already have an account, though!) one of my early boyfriends wrote this. says he lives with his cat, so maybe he's gay now?

Tuesday, October 5

Wrappin' it up

I have been beginning to deal with the winding-up of Mpact responsibility for 2004. It's kinda nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel, when I will be able to get back to doing what I really like. That is, I can plan events instead of being a cheerleader for others. You don't need co-chairs when the event heads are TCB! Thursday night is our big meeting for the year, when we get lots of new members, and I am supposed to be working on a postcard of events, plus promo materials for a package of sporting event tickets we're trying to sell. So, what am I doing? Not homework, or laundry, and not even watching Sex and the City reruns. I am blogging for you people, who may not even be out there, cause I never get comments! But I do have a counter, so I know someone is reading. Strangers, maybe? I promised to give some props to Jay Lawrence, who just told me he is playing a Veep-debate-night joke on his g'friend. For those of you who don't know, he's a big R (he thinks) and she's a big D (fundraiser type). So Jay goes out and makes stickers for her debate-party-guests saying "W is for Women" (which I actually think is so ironic it might be funny) and "[her last name] for Bush-Cheney". Personally, I do not think they have been dating long enough for such hi-jinks! But then, better now when she is still likely to forgive him than later when he has run out of his "get out of jail free" cards. Yes, how like Monopoly real life is. . . .

Missed me?

Hi guys, Sorry it's been a while since I have appeared in print (?) but it's been a weekend! Whew! If you didn't know, Memphis won the football game Saturday, we actually spanked the Univ. of Houston -- woo-eeee! Unfortunately, it was a 1pm kickoff -- which means, you guessed it, early morning tailgating. Gaaahh, did I feel like crap Sunday morning! Cause of course the b'friend is all risin' and shinin' at 6am (gloggggg). And you all know that after an afternoon of football things never wind up at a decent hour. I didn't get home any earlier this time than when it was a 6pm game a couple of weeks ago. Hmmmm. . . lesson to be learned here. . . . Nope, it just escaped me!

Wednesday, September 29

Riders on the Storm

Since several of you have asked, I will give the update on the Henderson family in Pepsicola, FL. For those of you who followed hurricane Ivan, you know that it hit land in Mobile, AL, just 45 mins. away from my sister n'them. Yes, they stayed to ride it out. Yes, they lived to regret it. That was two weeks ago, and 9 days later the tree was removed, while only 10 days later their power was restored. The Red Cross was bringing food around in the meantime, and they could cook some things on their gas gril, so the food situation was tolerable.* But I can't imagine living in a partially-smashed-up house with a nine-year-old and 18-month-old, plus livestock. Bill has gone back to work, but Emma's school was damaged or something, and she won't go back for another few weeks. They are very lucky to all be okay and together, so all is well. Except for the massive construction project about to begin on their home, that is. But, hey, now they get some new stuff, right? *Yes, that is a little chip on my shoulder from Hurricane Elvis 2003. I live in a very densely populated area and was without electricity a full 14 days! No Red Cross trucks drove around delivering hot meals to us, either. I was glad for her that they had all this but I just can't get over how Memphis was shafted when it was our turn. If (or when, rather) we have an earthquake, I suppose it will be different, but

Can't believe how out of it I am!

. . . so much so that I didn't even realize that Achewood has been back for two days, and that's saying something about the state of my mind! Thank you, Bill, for introducing me to Phillipe & the gang! I spent all day yesterday, until 11:30 or so, working on a project for tech. writing which I really got into! Whew, if you ever question your nerdiness, just re-read stuff you wrote like this. . . huuuuurr! Hope I get an A, since I actually worked on this one (as opposed to the last couple of exercises in futility in that class). Not that I'm not enjoying school completely, cause -- like I already said, I am a nerd -- I love school. It's so satisfying to be instantly judged, graded, and if you follow the rules you just aren't found lacking. It's so personally impersonal, and by that I mean the work is a personal as you can get, while the grades are wholly objective. Work is just never like that. My favorite boss was the one who actually taught me stuff, not the ones that were nicest or had the best personalities. Can I just be a student forever?

Tuesday, September 28

Good news week not so good for girl blogger

I have already had two bits of good news in the past week, am being mucho productinve, and am enjoying the fab weather, etc., so why am I not cheerfuller? (Achewood is all reruns, though.) One's personality and disposition should work with life forces, not against it. Bllllllll. . . . Is it just me, or is shit like this just not even funny anymore? Finally going to see Claire Bear tonight, which I haven't done since I went to her son's first soccer game of the season, several weeks ago. Five- and six-year-olds playing soccer is a riot, especially when it's their first team game. One poor thing got bashed in a head at close range (ground to head max 2 feet) by a ball and I could practically see stars with him. I think he got the wind knocked out of him -- remember that phenomenon from childhood? It was scary as hell, I remember, and you always thought you just might die in those few seconds before you could breathe again.

Saturday, September 25

O what a strange night

Finally got to see Shaun of the Dead, after laughing at the same preview over & over. Definitely a classic! And not really all that fakey, as I'd expected. After the requisite nap, cause even watching someone else fight zombies wears ya out, was a party. A strange one, in fact. This photog my boyfriend works with was throwing a 21st Bday Bash for his son, only we were some of the youngest people there. Lamar Sorrento was playing in the backyard, which I thoroughly enjoyed for the novelty of it. But, honestly, 2 1/2 hours is just too long to be at the party of some old people you don't know. Of course by the time I got home, all of my equally-oldster friends were in for the night, too. So no going out late for me (waaah). I need a late night out like I need a bed of nails, so I guess it was for the best.

Friday, September 24

Coming soon. . . Photos!

Okay, kids, when I get a chance I will post some photos of my wedding adventure here, promise! Right now I should be cleaning house, grrrrr, but of course got sucked into the old demon 'chine. But I found Kizzle, finally! So some good has come from today's illicit surf. Must ditto her comments on weather, cause it's so fabbo this fall. This summer was gorgeous as well -- we just kept waiting for the inferno that never arrived. Is this Mother Nature's way of apologizing for Hurricane Elvis last year? Works for me! Of course, I didn't have my roof blown off, or a tree invite itself into my home, either.

Thursday, September 23

Effing Lovely

Read this. I always knew news should be entertaining, not depressing. I wish Henry Rollins would come back! Oh, wait, I just saw him like 6 months ago. Hurrr.

Monday, September 20

Long time no me!

Hey kids! Sorry for the prolonged silence -- I went out of town and forgot to mention it before. Oh, wait, I do remember mentioning it but whatever. So the wedding was beautiful, and I'm not just saying that because that's what you're supposed to say! It was outdoor, which is my favorite; it just feels like that's a better place to be. Now, funerals are just fine in a church. I don't like all that graveside service stuff much. I think it's always been rainy or cold for those that I've attended, which is suitable. Anyway, my college buddy's wedding was such a good look at why you get hitched in the first place. And the party wasn't bad, either, considering that she married into a preachin' family (I counted four of them including Grandaddy). Would have been nice to see more of her high school friends, but at the same time, I can't imagine who I'd invite from high school who'd acutually come to my wedding. Urk. Idea of own wedding! Still saying Vegas is the way to go. Honestly, who ever says they wish they hadn't been married in Vegas?

Monday, September 13

Why not me, Lord?

I can't friggin' BELIEVE Oprah! She has gone mad. Did you see that she gave away a new car to her audience members this week? I know she doesn't have to pay for it, but I would worry if I were her. Soon nobody will go watch the show for its own sake, they'll just be there for the freebies. But I bet the audience will cheer like SuperBowl fans from now on. Wait, they already do that. What's wrong with people? Do they just get caught up in the moment, or are their lives that devoid of joy except for Oprah? I am bitter. I admit it!

Entirely Subjective Summer Movie Reviews

Here are my rankings for movies I've seen this summer: groaningly bad: Catwoman (absolute worst), Alien v. Predator, Spiderman 2, Paparazzi, Exorcist suspected of being too bad to be dragged to: Open Water, Resident Evil 2 not too painful: I Robot, Troy (should have been called 'inspired by Homer's Iliad') coincidentally neither an original plot. . . actually v. good: Man on Fire, Maria Full of Grace, Suspect Zero great: Napoleon Dynamite, Dodgeball can't wait much longer to see: Shaun of the Dead

Sunday, September 12

Sunday is for Football

So now that I have a giant TV in the bedroom, and football is on again, I think I can pretty much live in two rooms of the house. (The bathroom isn't included in room counts in the real estate world.) Boyfriend keeps running back to check alternate scores on internet. Just learned that Morris Day used to have a TV show in 1990 called "New Attitude" that ran for, like, less than one season. Of course it did not run everywhere and local TV never carried it where I lived. Too bad the world was deprived of that talent. Purple Rain & Graffiti Bridge were just not enough for the likes of me. Next week will be busy with meetings, a birthday thingy, then off to the wedding thang -- so I might be unable to post. In case I am not on, please watch the weather and think of me! Don't wanna drive in all that mess if I don't hafta.

Saturday, September 11

Crazed weathering

It seems the weather might once again demonstrate its dominance over humanity. We just take for granted that we can control our environment, and then when nature threatens we freak out! Or think about freaking out, anyway, cause this hurricane might mess up my plans for next weekend. Not only am I driving to a wedding in the projected path of the storm, but it is outdoor! I'm glad I don't have to worry about alternate plans for this event. Weddings seem like a lot of unnecessary work and responsibility to me. If I wanted to live with someone forever, have kids and share a future with them, would I feel better after a ceremony binding us together? What about one that works on, like, half the people who go through it?

Thursday, September 9

First of all:

It seems everyone has something to say, presumably something worth sharing with others (although I doubt how much of this is worth it sometimes). But we all must blog away. My info for you today is the ubiquitous movie review. A full month (prolly longer) after it was released in NYC, Maria Full of Grace arrived in Memphis. Definitely worth the time to watch. I cannot say the same for the Exorcist, which happens to be the last film I saw. Entertaining in its way but not frightening the way the original was (when I saw it at, like, 14 or something). But "Maria" was interesting, moving, educational for those of us who are not hip to the drug trade -- and the subtitles were surely worth it. I think they were crucial -- without being filmed in Spanish, the idea that you were in this world would have required more suspension of disbelief.

Tuesday, September 7

Holy asteroids, Batman!

Okay, so the name. Amazingly, there are a couple dozen minor planets actually named after rock'n'rollers: the Stones, the Beatles, the Bee Gees, Zappa. . . yes, even Elvis! But, in fact, they may not be planets at all, but rather planetoids, or asteroids. Is that really a compliment to name an asteroid after someone as great as Eric Clapton? (Incidentally, Jimmy Hendrix doesn't have one though each of the Beatles has his own.)