- personality that doesn't require mine supplementing it during conversation
- intellect and ability to communicate it (no nutty professors, though)
- hobbies! seriously. get some interests or you're a pretty boring person.
- respect: for me, for yourself, and for the feelings of others
- ability to make decisions and come up with creative solutions to everyday problems (like where to go to lunch; please don't always leave it up to me, or stick to the same 3 places!)
- sense of humor---and that's a deal-breaker---preferrably one as weird and dark as mine
Friday, December 30
Tuesday, December 27
Real fvck!ng cute, Detective. A woman is asssaulted by her boyfriend---the most common cause of murders in this country is domestic disputes, so it's the #1 thing you should be looking for here---and you call the press, give them a "cute" one-liner, and add your own joke on to it. Here is the real story. Wonder why the police couldn't wait to close their investigation to get her side of the story first?
Woman Swallows Cell Phone After Argument A lovers' dispute over a cell phone took a serious turn early Friday morning when the woman ended the spat by swallowing the phone whole. Police said they received a call at 4:52 a.m. from a man who said his girlfriend was having trouble breathing. When they arrived at the house they found the 24-year-old woman had a cell phone lodged in her throat."He wanted the phone and she wouldn't give it to him, so she attempted to swallow it," Detective Sgt. Steve Decker of the Blue Springs Police Department. "She just put the entire phone in her mouth so he couldn't get it." Police said an ambulance transported the woman to St. Mary's Medical Center in Blue Springs. A hospital spokeswoman said she couldn't give details about the woman's health since police have not released her identity. Decker said police had closed investigations on the swallowing, the first such incident of its kind here."This is the first I've heard of this happening," said Decker. "I don't know what kind of phone it was. I don't know if it was on ring or vibrate, either." [CBS Strange News]
A woman who police thought had deliberately tried to swallow her cellphone during an argument with her boyfriend was apparently the victim of an assault instead, authorities in Blue Springs said. "It appears she didn't voluntarily swallow this phone," Kintz said. Police would not say whether the boyfriend was a suspect.
Early Friday, police responded to a call from a man who said his 24-year-old irlfriend was having trouble breathing. Police arrived to find a woman with a cellphone lodged in her throat. Police were initially told the boyfriend wanted the phone and the woman tried to swallow it so that he could not get it. [LA Times]
Um, yeah, dumbasses---who here could actually speak to the police to defend himself? Right: the attacker, not the victim, as is so often the case. But the police told their "cute" version news media, and here are all the cute leads they got to write for the original "story":
"Woman swallows cellphone playing "keep-away" from boyfriend" "Tactic Begs The Question, 'Mub Wou Ear Me Mow?'" "It was a conversation stopper." "We've all been there. Your spouse or loved one drives you to the breaking point, and you have no other choice than to swallow their cell phone."This makes me wonder: Just how desperate are the news media to compete with blogs and other alternative mediums for news? And how much can we trust the big news stories, if the small ones are such gross fabrications?
Wednesday, December 21
Tuesday, December 20
Friday, December 16
Monday, December 12
- A list of groceries for the holiday gathering this weekend: appetizers (pre-made, this year, sorry!) cheese, wine, apple juice + brandy for the cider, perhaps stuff for crackers & dip;
- Another list of additional crap to buy: strings of white lights, poinsettias, and tea lights to decorate the house;
- Holiday music playlist (should burn cd's so I can use a cd player instead of the computer);
- A to-do list: clean, clean, clean!
Saturday, December 10
TITLE: Ladies - if you meet this guy --- RUNNNNNNNNN! He likes to describe himself as kind, average good looks, close to 6' tall, ... yada yada yada ... That's [sic] what you get: Monkey man, 5'4", long arms down to his knees, short legs, big belly (cant see his toes), bold [sic], oily scalp, sweats all the time, watches only kid's cartoons (4 - 6 hrs in a row), eats like a pig, and he is so BROKE ... He has not had sex in 6 years (surprise!!), and his tiny little piss tool is about 3 inches total ... saw him naked, started laughing, and ran ................ Watch the initials M.B.! Maybe next time I post a picture :)It's the little things that lighten our burdens in life. OK, back to work!
Friday, December 9
Wednesday, December 7
Tuesday, December 6
KARUNCHI, SNAKISTAN—Citing crumbling relations due to years of protracted french-onion diplomacy, the president of the Central Asian doritocracy Fritolaysia withdrew the country's ambassadors from Snakistan Monday.
"We have been supplying the people of Snakistan with pre-packaged consumable goods for over 40 years, and for them to show resistance to our savory products is unacceptable," Fritolaysian President Barbbaku Chedar said, referring to Snakistani officials' unwillingness to adhere to Fritolaysia's zesty new initiative introduced during a between-meals conference at last week's international-trading summit held in München, Germany.
"Fritolaysia has no choice but to crumple up and throw away all chiplomatic ties with the greedy, gluttonous government of Snakistan," Chedar added.AND, MY PERSONAL FAVORITE: RIAA Bans Telling Friends About Songs November 30, 2005 | Issue 41•48
LOS ANGELES—The Recording Industry Association of America announced Tuesday that it will be taking legal action against anyone discovered telling friends, acquaintances, or associates about new songs, artists, or albums. "We are merely exercising our right to defend our intellectual properties from unauthorized peer-to-peer notification of the existence of copyrighted material," a press release signed by RIAA anti-piracy director Brad Buckles read. "We will aggressively prosecute those individuals who attempt to pirate our property by generating 'buzz' about any proprietary music, movies, or software, or enjoy same in the company of anyone other than themselves." RIAA attorneys said they were also looking into the legality of word-of-mouth "favorites-sharing" sites, such as coffee shops, universities, and living rooms.
Monday, December 5
Saturday, December 3
Friday, December 2
Thursday, December 1
- My mortgage payments went up for next year. Taxes, of course. And maybe hazard insurance too.
- My credit card bills went up as well, with Christmas, my niece's birthday, and all the holiday travel expenses.
- Then I just had to buy this cute sparkly top the other day although I have no festive holiday parties lined up yet (hoping that will change soon) adding to the credit card bill. Yuk.
- Plus it is getting cold and I hate walking around campus all day with a cold, wet, sniffly nose.