The Surreal Life

This was kind of a funny story. What do you think it was, a cover-up for some heinous crime? I apologize in advance to the short-attention-spanners. The local daily paper won't let me link these stories properly, so this has turned out to be a super-long blog. It is now a crime to get a flu shot if you're healthy: AP by Amy F. Bailey LANSING, Mich.-- Thinking of trying to wheedle a flu shot from your doctor, even though you're not at high risk for flu complications? Forget about it in Michigan. Or Washington, D.C. Or Massachusetts. As the vaccine shortage hits home and long lines queue around the supermarket, a handful of states and the nation's capital are threatening doctors and nurses with fines or even jail if they give flu shots to healthy, low-risk people. This is, of course, due to the shortage of vaccination and the flu scare inflated by the media focus on the virus. Why are we so afraid of the flu, when the worst it means is a few days' illness? Because, as my sister showed me, the CDC lists "Flu/pneumonia" as the number 7 killer of white and Asian Americans each year with almost 70,000 deaths. Problem? Of course, that the flu alone really only kills you if you get dehydrated, which means a really, really bad hangover can also kill you. (Last time I went for 2-for-1 drink night I think I almost died of dehydration, too.) I understand the flu can kill older people, who catch pneumonia when they're already down with the flu, but you could just as easily say hospitals are the number one killer of Americans! Is it just me, or is the world going deeper off the Cliffs of Insanity each week? Because of this new classification of criminal behavior, perhaps, Michael Moore is too ill to come see us. Or was he just too frightened? In the news: Moore cancels Memphis visit October 16, 2004 Activist filmmaker Michael Moore is not coming to Memphis today after all. State Rep. Kathryn Bowers, chairman of the Shelby County Democratic Party, said Moore's "rally the troops" speech set for today was canceled because Moore was "ill with the flu" and because she was concerned about "security issues" involving a possible Republican Party protest. However, Moore's Friday night speech at the University of Nevada-Las Vegas was scheduled to go on as planned; and he is still scheduled to speak tonight at the University of Wisconsin at Madison. Bowers cited an E-mail sent out Monday by local Republican Party chairman Kemp Conrad as cause for concern. In the E-mail, Conrad called the rally "a hateful and partisan event." Fashion flash! Damn, and I just bought 12 new ponchos in every color of the rainbow! Happy Birthday Tim Robbins and John Mayer!