- personality that doesn't require mine supplementing it during conversation
- intellect and ability to communicate it (no nutty professors, though)
- hobbies! seriously. get some interests or you're a pretty boring person.
- respect: for me, for yourself, and for the feelings of others
- ability to make decisions and come up with creative solutions to everyday problems (like where to go to lunch; please don't always leave it up to me, or stick to the same 3 places!)
- sense of humor---and that's a deal-breaker---preferrably one as weird and dark as mine
Friday, December 30
Tuesday, December 27
Real fvck!ng cute, Detective. A woman is asssaulted by her boyfriend---the most common cause of murders in this country is domestic disputes, so it's the #1 thing you should be looking for here---and you call the press, give them a "cute" one-liner, and add your own joke on to it. Here is the real story. Wonder why the police couldn't wait to close their investigation to get her side of the story first?
Woman Swallows Cell Phone After Argument A lovers' dispute over a cell phone took a serious turn early Friday morning when the woman ended the spat by swallowing the phone whole. Police said they received a call at 4:52 a.m. from a man who said his girlfriend was having trouble breathing. When they arrived at the house they found the 24-year-old woman had a cell phone lodged in her throat."He wanted the phone and she wouldn't give it to him, so she attempted to swallow it," Detective Sgt. Steve Decker of the Blue Springs Police Department. "She just put the entire phone in her mouth so he couldn't get it." Police said an ambulance transported the woman to St. Mary's Medical Center in Blue Springs. A hospital spokeswoman said she couldn't give details about the woman's health since police have not released her identity. Decker said police had closed investigations on the swallowing, the first such incident of its kind here."This is the first I've heard of this happening," said Decker. "I don't know what kind of phone it was. I don't know if it was on ring or vibrate, either." [CBS Strange News]
A woman who police thought had deliberately tried to swallow her cellphone during an argument with her boyfriend was apparently the victim of an assault instead, authorities in Blue Springs said. "It appears she didn't voluntarily swallow this phone," Kintz said. Police would not say whether the boyfriend was a suspect.
Early Friday, police responded to a call from a man who said his 24-year-old irlfriend was having trouble breathing. Police arrived to find a woman with a cellphone lodged in her throat. Police were initially told the boyfriend wanted the phone and the woman tried to swallow it so that he could not get it. [LA Times]
Um, yeah, dumbasses---who here could actually speak to the police to defend himself? Right: the attacker, not the victim, as is so often the case. But the police told their "cute" version news media, and here are all the cute leads they got to write for the original "story":
"Woman swallows cellphone playing "keep-away" from boyfriend" "Tactic Begs The Question, 'Mub Wou Ear Me Mow?'" "It was a conversation stopper." "We've all been there. Your spouse or loved one drives you to the breaking point, and you have no other choice than to swallow their cell phone."This makes me wonder: Just how desperate are the news media to compete with blogs and other alternative mediums for news? And how much can we trust the big news stories, if the small ones are such gross fabrications?
Wednesday, December 21
Tuesday, December 20
Friday, December 16
Monday, December 12
- A list of groceries for the holiday gathering this weekend: appetizers (pre-made, this year, sorry!) cheese, wine, apple juice + brandy for the cider, perhaps stuff for crackers & dip;
- Another list of additional crap to buy: strings of white lights, poinsettias, and tea lights to decorate the house;
- Holiday music playlist (should burn cd's so I can use a cd player instead of the computer);
- A to-do list: clean, clean, clean!
Saturday, December 10
TITLE: Ladies - if you meet this guy --- RUNNNNNNNNN! He likes to describe himself as kind, average good looks, close to 6' tall, ... yada yada yada ... That's [sic] what you get: Monkey man, 5'4", long arms down to his knees, short legs, big belly (cant see his toes), bold [sic], oily scalp, sweats all the time, watches only kid's cartoons (4 - 6 hrs in a row), eats like a pig, and he is so BROKE ... He has not had sex in 6 years (surprise!!), and his tiny little piss tool is about 3 inches total ... saw him naked, started laughing, and ran ................ Watch the initials M.B.! Maybe next time I post a picture :)It's the little things that lighten our burdens in life. OK, back to work!
Friday, December 9
Wednesday, December 7
Tuesday, December 6
KARUNCHI, SNAKISTAN—Citing crumbling relations due to years of protracted french-onion diplomacy, the president of the Central Asian doritocracy Fritolaysia withdrew the country's ambassadors from Snakistan Monday.
"We have been supplying the people of Snakistan with pre-packaged consumable goods for over 40 years, and for them to show resistance to our savory products is unacceptable," Fritolaysian President Barbbaku Chedar said, referring to Snakistani officials' unwillingness to adhere to Fritolaysia's zesty new initiative introduced during a between-meals conference at last week's international-trading summit held in München, Germany.
"Fritolaysia has no choice but to crumple up and throw away all chiplomatic ties with the greedy, gluttonous government of Snakistan," Chedar added.AND, MY PERSONAL FAVORITE: RIAA Bans Telling Friends About Songs November 30, 2005 | Issue 41•48
LOS ANGELES—The Recording Industry Association of America announced Tuesday that it will be taking legal action against anyone discovered telling friends, acquaintances, or associates about new songs, artists, or albums. "We are merely exercising our right to defend our intellectual properties from unauthorized peer-to-peer notification of the existence of copyrighted material," a press release signed by RIAA anti-piracy director Brad Buckles read. "We will aggressively prosecute those individuals who attempt to pirate our property by generating 'buzz' about any proprietary music, movies, or software, or enjoy same in the company of anyone other than themselves." RIAA attorneys said they were also looking into the legality of word-of-mouth "favorites-sharing" sites, such as coffee shops, universities, and living rooms.
Monday, December 5
Saturday, December 3
Friday, December 2
Thursday, December 1
- My mortgage payments went up for next year. Taxes, of course. And maybe hazard insurance too.
- My credit card bills went up as well, with Christmas, my niece's birthday, and all the holiday travel expenses.
- Then I just had to buy this cute sparkly top the other day although I have no festive holiday parties lined up yet (hoping that will change soon) adding to the credit card bill. Yuk.
- Plus it is getting cold and I hate walking around campus all day with a cold, wet, sniffly nose.
Wednesday, November 30
Monday, November 28
‘Why aren’t you married yet?’ By Kimberly Dawn Neumann Whether you’re single and loving it or desperately seeking Mr./Ms. Right, being hounded about your relationship status is annoying. And yet it seems to be a perfectly acceptable topic of conversation at festive family functions this time of year. In preparation for holiday party season, we asked everyone from social experts to comedians for the best answers to the “Why are you still single?” question.So, remember kids: This holiday season when people shove their enquiring noses where they just don't belong, don't get your feelings hurt. Remember that people who ask this question don't really want to hear the truth, your opinion, or anything else. They just want to be a$$holes!
- Save your ego by boosting your questioner’s (basically, change the subject to them. people love this tactic as it allows them to talk about their favorite topic)
- Make your point with an extreme example (one man's extreme example is another woman's truth)
- Bait-and-switch your response (another way to change the subject. this one sounds like it uses gossip)
- Make them wish they hadn’t asked (or, be mean. serrabee doesn't encourage direct rudeness---remember, cattiness is much more effective)
- Inspire jealousy because you’re still single (again, the truth---for almost all of us)
- Shrug it off with a snappy comeback (if you have to premeditate a snappy comeback it probably doesn't qualify as such)
- Drop some science on the situation (my favorite approach!)
- Smile and move on with savvy (classy, though not the way they make it sound
Tuesday, November 22
Sunday, November 20
Friday, November 18
November 18, 2005 From Richard Lloyd Parry in Tokyo UNTIL it was tragically cut short, the life of Dokonjo Daikon was an inspiration to all who knew him. Born in obscurity, he overcame the sternest of obstacles to rise to prominence in his small town. Loved by his neighbours, he became a symbol of the Japanese virtue of perseverance against the odds. People came from far and wide to wish him well — until a brutal attack this week that left him critically injured. It is all the more remarkable because Little Dai, as he is fondly known, is not a human being, but a plant; a long, thick, white daikon, or Japanese giant radish. For the past few weeks newspaper readers and television viewers have been gripped by the vegetable drama unfolding in the small western town of Aioi. Daikon are among the most common of Japanese edible roots, and Little Dai was remarkable in only one respect: rather than growing in the fields, he was an urban radish who pushed himself up through solid asphalt on a roadside pavement. He first appeared in July and, rather than extracting him and filling in the hole, the local council honoured him with a signboard bearing the words: “Observe with affection”. Locals christened him Dokonjo Daikon, “the daikon with fighting spirit”, or, more colloquially, “the radish with balls”. [link]
Boy nurtures nascent talent, boy suffers primal loss, boy meets girl, boy meets drugs, boy loses girl, boy kicks drugs, boy gets girl, boy is redeemed. From "Ray" to "Beyond the Sea" to last week's "Get Rich or Die Tryin' " and now "Walk the Line," each has hit exactly the same notes, with only a slightly different order or permutation.Huh, no mention of The Chin. Curious. I guess the word "mutation" made me think it was coming.
The other chief problem in "Walk the Line" is the performances. Although Phoenix eventually succeeds in disappearing into Cash the way Spacek did into Loretta Lynn, Witherspoon never once lets viewers forget that they're watching her and only her. She may have it in her to be a good dramatic actress, but she might have been better advised to try a smaller canvas before tackling such a monumental role.Or maybe, just maybe, it's That Chin. It always interferes with the willing suspension of disbelief.
Wednesday, November 16
Tuesday, November 15
Sunday, November 13
Saturday, November 12
- I don't want to go to my dear friend's birthday party tonight because it involves preparation (packing a shack-pack) and travel (to Pickwick, almost 2 hrs' drive away).
- I didn't get dressed all morning yesterday. Fortunately, I didn't leave home til 1pm (also a signal of my laziness).
- I didn't take out the recycling for 3 weeks. Too much trouble--the damn crate needs wheels on it, but they only do that for old people. Well, I'm gettin' there, ain't I?
- I've got a basket of clean laundry that's been sitting in my room so long I think I will have to throw it back in the dryer to fluff out the wrinkles.
- I can't be troubled to come up with any interesting posts lately (probably more a function of being busy than anything else).
Friday, November 11
This is real news, not bizarro world news.Wal-Mart Turns in Student’s Anti-Bush Photo, Secret Service Investigates HimBy Matthew RothschildOctober 4, 2005
[...North Carolina high school social studies teacher Selina] Jarvis had assigned her senior civics and economics class “to take photographs to illustrate their rights in the Bill of Rights,” she says. One student “had taken a photo of George Bush out of a magazine and tacked the picture to a wall with a red thumb tack through his head. Then he made a thumbs down sign with his own hand next to the President’s picture, and he had a photo taken of that, and he pasted it on a poster.”
According to Jarvis, the student, who remains anonymous, was just doing his assignment, illustrating the right to dissent.
But over at the Kitty Hawk Wal-Mart, where the student took his film to be developed, this right is evidently suspect. An employee in that Wal-Mart photo department called the Kitty Hawk police on the student. And the Kitty Hawk police turned the matter over to the Secret Service.[Jarvis] had to talk to the Secret Service.
“Halfway through my afternoon class, the assistant principal got me out of class and took me to the office conference room,” she says. “Two men from the Secret Service were there. They asked me what I knew about the student. I told them he was a great kid, that he was in the homecoming court, and that he’d never been in any trouble.”
Then they got down to his poster.
“They asked me, didn’t I think that it was suspicious,” she recalls. “I said no, it was a Bill of Rights project!”
At the end of the meeting, they told her the incident “would be interpreted by the U.S. attorney, who would decide whether the student could be indicted,” she says.
The student was not indicted, and the Secret Service did not pursue the case further.
“I blame Wal-Mart more than anybody,” [Jarvis] says. “I was really disgusted with them. But everyone was using poor judgment, from Wal-Mart up to the Secret Service.”
My mail carrier told me that the US Postal service sent out a message to all letter carriers to put a sheet of Bounce in their uniform pockets to keep yellow-jackets away. All this time you've just been putting Bounce in the dryer! It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them. It also repels mice. Spread sheets around foundation areas, or in trailers, or cars that are sitting and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened too often. It repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season. Eliminate static electricity from your television (or computer) screen. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling. Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce. To freshen the air in your home, place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet. Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew. Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing. To freshen the air in your car - Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat. Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond between the food and the pan. Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs. Eliminate static electricity from Venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling. Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight. Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away. Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. It will keep them smelling fresh. Quick, "Bounce" this on within the next 5 minutes! Nothing will happen if you don't, but your friends will be glad to hear these hints!Here it is on Snopes. It is interesting to note that the entire message references Bounce dryer sheets as if they were the only ones with these mystical properties. It may be a conspiracy---perhaps the parent company is a right-wing fundamentalist Christian-owned one.
Thursday, November 10
Wednesday, November 9
Monday, November 7
Sunday, November 6
Wednesday, November 2
Monday, October 31
Sunday, October 30
- Do you have friends you keep important things from, just because you don't want to make them feel badly about themselves? Not like, you don't tell them you've always hated their hair. Like, you don't tell them you kinda think they're not intelligent... I had a friend tell me she didn't think the Daily Show was funny but she laughs out loud at Mind of Mencia. I wanted to say, well, of course, cause you're not smart you couldn't possibly 'get' Jon Stewart's humor.
- Can you be friends with people you have absolutely nothing in common with? There are people you met randomly with whom you share no real interests---are those realy friends? My best friends are those I've been through the worst times with, so why do I make the effort with people I'm essentially so different from?
- You know how your oldest friends are your dearest ones? Good theory, but the problem is this: They know you best. Seriously---you've told them all your stories, that is the ones they weren't there to share, and you don't have much to talk about in the way of deeper issues. They know your views already; honestly, sometimes I feel like we know each other so well it's pointless to talk.
- What do you do when your friend tells you s/he's marrying someone you think is a total loser? Or at least, not the right fit for your friend? Do you have a moral obligation to express your opinion, or is it your job as a friend to shut up & say "congratulations!!!"?
Tuesday, October 25
- When I walk the dog, I seem to cross paths with this one young transvestite often. Wearing pants, which you don't see every day (think about it!). Very Midtown.
- Today I saw what I thought was a kid peeking through the fence to her neighbor's yard. It was not. It was a mannequin someone had put facing into the neighbor's yard. I don't know how long it had been there, cause I had an unobstructed view for the first time in many months, due to the falling leaves. Creepy! But so Midtown.
- I love that my neighbors always stop me, either to ask if I still live here (uh, why else would I be walking around the neighborhood?), or to ask if I still live alone. We're close, we're just not that close. I wouldn't want them all in my business, anyway! (More than they already seem to be, that is....)
- It is such a luxury to have a fabulous place to walk the dog without driving to the park. If Max gets dirty, so be it---I don't have to drive him home after every walk. Suck on that, Germantown---you don't even get sidewalks!
What the [Co-op Genereux] members forsake in space and privacy they reclaim in financial reward. The average monthly cost of living at the Genereux Co-op is $320. This includes rent, bills, three telephone lines, high speed wireless Internet, and three square meals a day, five days a week. Monetary gain is not the only advantage to having fourteen roommates. Both Marc and Spencer spoke of the experience they have gained in group facilitation and agenda setting, not to mention such other worthwhile skills as cooking mass amounts of food, making homemade soy milk, building walls and doing renovations, drying herbs, and the plethora of skills and abilities inherent in a group of fifteen. “It is interesting in terms of resource use,” Marc explains, “In North America people don’t tend to share things. Here we share everything from books and music to space and food. It teaches one to be conscious of the space one occupies in terms of both things and behavior.” Beyond being an interesting experiment for the young and daring, the Co-op Genereux is a model of an alternate lifestyle possibility. “There is a narrow range of lifestyles that is perceived as fulfilling, happy, healthy, and feasible in North America. We want to explore possibilities and provide options by putting different ideas into the world,” explains Spencer, “This type of lifestyle acknowledges the impacts of choices we make in our lives about everything from food, to money, to decision making, to socializing. It is freeing to acknowledge and understand the destruction of communities and ecosystems and to then be empowered to make changes.”
Sunday, October 23
[Philip Seymour] Hoffman is 5 feet 9 inches of boomy-voiced, big-shouldered robustness. He could play Orson Welles, Vince Lombardi or any of his Green Bay Packers. But scrunch down into Capote, a 5-foot-3 pipsqueak?
"It's angles and staging," says [Director Bennett] Miller. He created the illusion of Hoffman's smallness with camera angles that dwarf Hoffman compared with others in the same scenes, and he cast background actors who were taller than Hoffman. In terms of props such as couches, "with all other things being equal, I'll go with the bigger one."
Saturday, October 22
Friday, October 21
- Annual Stonewall Party which has moved to 351 East Butler
- Barbara Cue with Todd Nance---the drummer from Widespread Panic---plays Newby's on Saturday [via Mark Richens]
- "Night of the Living DJ" at Premiere Palace 629 Monroe (across from The Spot/616 Marshall, which I hear tell the owner wants to turn into a strip club--great news for my friend who lives next door)
- Gamble Brothers play at the Young Avenue Deli on Saturday as well
- A swinger's halloween party for the alternate lifestyles (do you have to be married to swing?)---I find their membership fee scale interesting: $100 for single men, only $25 for single women. Reverse discrimination?
Thursday, October 20
- Good Night, and Good Luck. The must-see movie of the fall for nerds like me. Seriously---I just watched a documentary on Einstein last week.
- North Country. Depressing. Also Oscar-quality. (Are these synonymous?) Could be a good film. Charlize Theron wants us to forget she's gorgeous---Charlize: you can be beautiful and still act, girl. There will be plenty of ime to be ugly when you're over the hill.
- Shopgirl. Does anyone else think it's creepy Steve Martin wrote a book about this old man (oh, say, around his age-ish?) seducing a poor, young retail girl and now he's playing that old man in the film version? This one's a toss-up.
- Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. Interesting cast, fun action plot, written by the Lethal Weapon guy. Val Kilmer + Robert Downey, Jr. sounds kinda 80's to me too, but in a good way.
- Nicky Cage got hair help. And he's a daddy, too. Go see The Weatherman to support his hair transplant and new baby. I can't think of any other reason to do so.
- and, of course Wallace and Grommit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit. No one won't like this movie.
Wednesday, October 19
Monday, October 17
Thursday, October 13
Frist accumulated stock in family company outside Senate [blind] trusts from The Tennessean By LARRY MARGASAK and JONATHAN M. KATZ Associated Press Writers WASHINGTON (AP) -- Outside the blind trusts he created to avoid a conflict of interest, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist earned tens of thousands of dollars from stock in a family-founded hospital chain largely controlled by his brother, documents show. The Tennessee Republican, whose sale this summer of HCA Inc. stock is under federal investigation, has long maintained he could own HCA shares and still vote on health care legislation without a conflict because he had placed the stock in blind trusts approved by the Senate. However, ethics experts say a partnership arrangement shown in documents obtained by The Associated Press raises serious doubts about whether the senator truly avoided a conflict. Kathleen Clark, a government ethics expert at the Washington University in St. Louis School of Law, said she doesn't believe the Senate trusts or the Tennessee trust insulated Frist from a conflict because the senator or his brother were advised of transactions and could influence decisions. "What I find most appalling is the Senate calls it a qualified blind trust when it's not blind," Clark said. "Since the Senate says it's OK, the Senate has made it a political question. It's up to the voter. But there's no doubt it's a conflict of interest."[via DBV]
Wednesday, October 12
- VooDoo Fest does a show in New Orleans (will these people get their sh!t together by the weekend of the show?) [via Rachel; go see her tonight at Murphy's if you don't have a midterm tomorrow.]
- It is donation week at the WKNO stations. If you're not a member, join during the morning drive & you could get cool stuff. If you don't already listen to NPR, you're crazy. Or lazy.
- While you've got your checkbook out, support WEVL, too. You can stream them live, like Amarillo's fm90.
- If you have any cash left, buy your tickets for the Miss Gay America 2006 pagent. I ain't kiddin you!
- And, synchronously, I ran across this breaking news on Boy George just after my last post.
Friday, October 7
Thursday, October 6
Wednesday, October 5
Timberlake's move is not without controversy. Smaller studios and labels that have struggled in the city for years fear they could be ruined by such a powerful player signing up local talent.
Senior figures behind the project said Timberlake, 24, could launch a new record label to go alongside the revival of Sun and Stax, or dramatically expand the company he started up this summer, JayTee Records, which signed hip hop's Joshua B as its first act. ...Timberlake has been in town recently for filming of Black Snake Moan, a movie about 'a Memphis nymphomaniac' in which he stars with Samuel L Jackson and Christina Ricci. [full story] [via Rachel]
Sunday, October 2
Friday, September 30
...what really sets Soloway apart is her unique, spot-on sense of humor mixed with political acumen, all of which she trains on herself, her people (the Jews), celebrity and pop culture, with side trips for bathroom hoverers, her sister Faith, why she hates dogs, and the most hilarious footnotes you'll ever read.Shut the Fuck Up:
HANOVER, NH—According to students enrolled in professor Michael Rosenthal's Philosophy 101 course at Dartmouth College, that guy, Darrin Floen, the one who sits at the back of the class and acts like he's Aristotle, seriously needs to shut the fuck up. "Today he was going on and on about how Plato's cave shadows themselves represent the ideal foundation of Western philosophical thought," said freshman Julia Wald moments after class let out Monday. "I have no idea what Plato's ideal reality is, but I bet it doesn't include know-it-all little shits." Wald added: "If he uses the word 'dialectical' one more time, I'm going to shove my copy of The Republic down his throat."
Thursday, September 29
- Harriet E. Miers, the White House counsel, who is a leader in the search for Justice O'Connor's successor. Ms. Miers, 60, was the first woman to become a partner at a major Texas law firm and the first woman to be president of the State Bar of Texas. At one point, Ms. Miers was Mr. Bush's personal lawyer.
...the president said Monday, in response to a question about how close he was to choosing a successor, that "diversity is one of the strengths of the country."Oh, yeah, and replacing a dead white conservative man with a living white conservative man totally promotes diversity!