Real thoughts

I blogged about reality on Journalissimo, in case y'all think I'm shallow going on about gas prices when so many people are dead, homeless, and at further risk of disease in the coming weeks. Please donate to the Red Cross or see the donate link on the sidebar here. Thank you.

Weird things abound in the life of Serrabee

1. Weird thing: I ran into a guy this weekend whom I haven't seen in (according to him) 5 years. (No, that's not the weird part.) He then proceeded to tell every guy I talked to that I was his future wife, and not to talk to me. That's the weird---and slightly scary---part of the story. There's more but I'm afraid to mock him in case he starts stalking me, and I don't get the last laugh.
2. Less weird thing: I just had to wait in line for gas... for the first time ever. It was $2.89 at the Exxon, and $3.19 down the street at Circle K. Yikes!! Wish I had a hybird version of mycar (which they came out with the year after I bought mine, new).
3. Weirder thing: I got a classmates.com email last week from a guy I graduted with, who didn't attend our high school reunion 2 years ago, therefore I probably haven't seen this guy since graduation. We only ever corresponded by desk in school (which I guess is another weird thing). He is now in the military---which is the weirdest of all---and when I knew him he was one of the strangest, quietest, smartest guys in school. If they'd had a Least Likely to Join the Military superlative, he'd have won. Now I feel like I should write him back, though I don't know if the fact that he's stuck in Iraq has anything to do with it or not. Maybe I should give him a link here for fun?
4. Non-weird thing: I had only 2 classes today, which is werid for me but not so much so if you're not me. Tomorrow I will have the other 3 classes in a marathon of about 5 hours. Woo-hoo! Tough getting the old attention span revved up for that one. Also strange is that I am more tired on the days with fewer classes than the days with more.

What NOT to do tonight

Don't go buy Trent Lott's book. Don't even grace him with your presence, unless you're bringing a herd of cats for him to demonstrate his skills at Davis-Kidd. Tee-hee-hee. Don't return all the batteries you bought because the MSM told you a huge storm was coming thisaway today. You just never know when you'll need them again; tornado season is just around the corner. Don't forget salsa lessons at Tuesdays on the Terrace at the Botanic Garden. Just kidding! It's $30 and you can wait til the weekend and get free lessons at the High Point Pinch. So, don't go out at all tonight, I guess. And don't laugh when you see these pics of Brad Pitt naked (I did).

Not so fast!

Looks like Katrina will be kinder to the Big Easy than we thought yesterday. The flood damage remains to be seen, though. I am thankful that a lot of the structures were relatively undamaged by the wind, and of course that it doesn't look like as many people were killed as in Category 5 storms in the past. However, I feel sorry for those poor b*stards in Mississippi, as they are even more unprepared for this storm. The resulting steep gas prices are making some of us wonder: will Bush allow the petrol reserve to be used in this time of crisis? I wonder, considering that how high gas prices are now (I think $70 a barrel) is simply speculation of supply-and-demand issues that haven't yet arisen. In other words, will Bush release some of the stockpiles now, before prices top $3 a gallon, or will he wait until it's too late, as he has done with everything else in his administration?

The Bush administration said it was considering whether to use the Strategic Petroleum Reserve in response to any supply disruptions caused by Hurricane Katrina, which hit New Orleans on August 29, 2005 after swirling through the Gulf of Mexico. The petroleum stockpile consists of more than 700 million barrels of crude oil stored in underground salt caverns in Louisiana and Texas. --AP

UPDATE: I re-re-added the picture Blogger was stopping you from seeing before. And I was just thinking... a friend of mine (who my last bf called a socialist) said this weekend that he hopes gas prices here go thru the proverbial roof, at least as high as in Europe, so that perhaps Americans will quit buying SUVs and driving when we could walk or bike. I am afraid I'm guilty of the latter sin of driving more than I should. I think I'm fearful of my environment, and the car offers a metal layer of protection from crime. Or maybe it's like an addiction, something you want to stop--you keep telling yourself you can quit anytime, you'll bike to work next week, when it's not so hot/stops raining/is warmer than today. And you never do.

So long, New Orleans, I loved you well

I've had such good times in New Orleans, and enjoyed many a weekend jaunt down there, that I can't help but obsess over the beeline which Hurricane Katrina's apparently making straight for the city. In a category 4 storm, it really doesn't matter if the eyewall doesn't pass over you. For one thing, the winds are so damaging even in the outer rings that a lot of the historic architecture won't be spared; for another, the floods will keep people out of the entire city indefinitely. I ran into a friend at Ike's yesterday (buying school supplies, such fun) who's in medical school in N.O. Was, rather, since school is cancelled indefinitely. She said she wasn't thinking and just brought a weekend's worth of clothes and her dog. So she'll be here for weeks, maybe months, cause even though she lives on the 3rd floor, she still lives in the warehouse district (which is right by the mighty Mississippi River). What's strange for me, rather than scary, is thinking that our power may be out for a few days. So I'll be refilling my propane tank and stocking up on batteries today---just in case. In the meantime I'll just be glued to the Weather Channel, watching Jim Cantore be blown about once again.

Addendum

6. Also, never to sign off, apparently permanently, and come back repeatedly from the dead. When I'm gone, I'll be gone for good. Don't worry---it will be a while yet. That having been said, I do wonder how much time I'll have this fall for posting. I'm currently signed up for 18 hours (6 classes, one of which I may drop pretty quickly) and trying to start up a (free, for now) local online zine. I may be doing more of the linking I did in the olden days. Speaking of which, I'm approaching two anniversaries: a year of blogging and 5 years of non-smoking. YAY, me!

My pledge to you

that is to my readers, all 3 of you, I pledge:

1. Not to make any post so long that it will bore you to tears.
2. Not to apologize for neglecting my blog. I'm sure you care even less for my excuses than I can imagine.
3. Never ever to blog gruesome details of my personal illnesses. (Unless it's funny in some way, maybe.) I'm sure just saying "I felt like crap" is a good enough reason to take a break.
4. Not to get too political on y'all. You get that everywhere.
5. To never reveal my secret identity elsewhere first. Of course, if you're here you probably know my secret identity already & that's why you're reading (except for random googlers).

I've been reading the stupidest sh!t lately so I feel I have to promise not to duplicate it. I believe that's all for now, but I'll keep these in mind as I write.

Now Hear This:

Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz has asked the never-voiced, but ever-present question facing our great nation: What can be done about this senior citizen problem? He also offers 5 alternatives, or helpful hints, on controlling the epidemic of old-ness. Old people need to clean up their act, before we face the real fallout from the aging of the population. [LINK]

post script

The Glass is at the Hi-Tone tomorrow nite. See ya there, if I'm not exhausted from my travels by then. A bargain at only $5!

Sorry y'all,

Blogger is f#cking with me again! I wrote a post about my weekend adventure, a few days late and probably too short as well, but I wrote it anyway. Blogger ate it! I shall endeavor to unearth it from my email, which is where I cleverly composed it & mailed it to myself (don't even ask). I am on a prehistoric computer at the old homestead. It wasn't that great a post anyway. Basically, you had to be there, like any rock'n'roll show. According to some people, it wasn't as great as I thought it was (more on this later). So I will return to the civilized world of the Mid-South region tomorrow, unfortunately probably not in time for the South Main Trolley Tour, featuring a funky flick appropriately titled Make it Funky! (which is openly stolen from the greatest senior singer and soul brother number one, James Brown. Probably with his blessing. Or either he's oblivious, more likely in such an oldster as JB.). Anyway, the movie is free, starts at 9pm, and here's what they say about it:

The movie is 2% jazz, 98% funky stuff! It is the story of New Orleans and its legendary musicians, who composed and performed songs that changed the world of music, influencing the course of Rhythm & Blues and Rock & Roll. It features the best of New Orleans’ musicians, plus special guests Bonnie Raitt and Keith Richards. Artists featured in the documentary include Big Sam’s Funky Nation, The Dirty Dozen Brass Band, Irma Thomas, Kermit Ruffins, The Neville Brothers, Snooks Eaglin and Walter “Wolfman” Washington.

However, although I will definitely be back in time for the 311 show at Mud Island on Sun. night, I doubt I'll make it down there. I'm not excited enough to deal with the crowds at a general admission show. I am lazy. I don't want drunk people sitting practically on top of me, like happened last time I was down there (years ago). Stoners are okay, though. It seems all my b!tching about all the good shows going to outlying areas has finally paid off this fall. We'll be seeing the N Miss Allstars and Lyle Lovett in the same weekend next month, which sort of makes up for MeatLoaf at the casinos (shouldn't he be dead by now?). I wish everyone a good weekend, during which I should be back to updating you on my exciting world. Danke schon. UPDATE! I have fixed the link & the misspelling (the only one I found) on this post. [Thanks, Charly!] See also the recent Rolling Stone story on the N MS Allstars. Looks like they're playing some pretty decent-sized venues all around the country. I wonder where they'll encounter the greatest number of Cocks hats?

My, how I've aged

I discovered wrinkles this weekend I never knew I had. Oh, the joys of aging. I think I stayed out too late on Fri. night, got dehydrated from consuming many beers, and the effects stayed with me thru the next day. That's my story for now, anyway. Yeah, Nashvile was fun. [Hey, that's a great typo!] Maybe too much fun... I am still tired today. Of course I had the drive back as well, then a family dinner to help prepare & serve. I'm sure you are all curious about the Kings of Leon show, and I will get to that later when I'm up to it. For now, let me just share a recipe with ya:

1 can of broth (veggie) 1/4 tsp dried thyme 1 tsp dried parsley 7 potatoes, quartered 1 tbs cornstarch 2 tbs water Pour broth, thyme, parsley and potatoes in a medium pot. Bring it to a boil and reduce to low heat. Cook for 10 to 20 minutes, or until potatoes are tender; drain, reserving broth. In a small bowl mix the cornstarch and water; add to broth and cook, stirring constantly, over medium heat until mixture thickens into a sauce. Serve sauce over potatoes.

That will be served with supper tomorrow. Yummy! I like being a family cook. Occasionally....

I'm off

Time to head to N'ville for the weekend, so I'll be away from here until Sun. nite or Mon. As I mentioned, I think, I've got tix for the KOL/Secret Machines show tomorrow night at the Ryman. (Here's the un-enlightening review from Gothamist. Just the sort of thing you might read here.) I'm sure I will see many dirty-on-purpose people there, but I'm hoping Nash. doesn't have as large a population as Memphis. Hoping. I think my friends are going to take me on a tour of their favorite places around town, which should be fun for me considering my past experiences there. Usually I end up in chain restaurants or the Wild Horse Saloon or something equally hideous. I will try to share my more positive experiences here next week. It's got to be better than some N'ville blogs I've read lately...! Enjoy your weekend. I plan to do the same.

In the eye of the beholder

Humans Fall Victims to Glossy Magazine Covers This is a great article on the perception of beauty. Personally, I don't think the people pictured are all that attractive. I'll try to add it later. [LINK]

Muzak notes

• As I have already noted, I can alter my entire mood with music (quite a useful trick).
• I am the obsessive type, musically. I latch onto something and listen to it every day for a week, or weeks, depending on how good it is---then never again. Or years later.
• Right now I am obsessing over Imogen Heap, thanks to EJ's radio blog.
• When I was little, I listened to Led Zeppelin & my dad said they stole from blues & country. I was so disillusioned by that---until I understood years later that great musicians build on those who have come before them. They stand on the shoulders of giants, as it were.
• My favorite Elvis song: Suspicious Minds.
• My favorite Stevie Wonder song: Superstition.
• I'm excited that Big Star is making a comeback. I kinda missed them first time around as I am (incredibly) too young to have been in that scene. And, growing up in KnoxVegas, we all listened to Southern Rock and The Cure around then.
• My last greatest hits cd purchase was The Cure.
• I think I'm going to be ultra-trendy and go see The Cry Room at the P&H Cafe weekend after this, since I missed the $60- Duran Duran show. (That is, ultra-trendy for a high schooler.)
• Buying Kings of Leon tickets made my day. Going to Nashvuille this weekend for the show & a visit with some friends. Yee-haw!

No kidding.

Video-gamers say blacks are too often shown as thugs Atlanta - ..."It's been said that a bunch of nerdy white guys are creating these games," Armstrong said. "The problem with a bunch of white guys creating the games is that the story isn't being created with balance."

Well, yeah, and what about women of all races and ethnicities? I am absolutely sickened by the Japanese cartoon porn ads I see on Something Awful in a way that I don't feel about women legitimately posing for, and making money from, real life porn. Those video games and other exaggerated, airbrushed, drawn and otherwise falsified images of women disgust me. Have a nice day. [LINK]

My new hero

Rocker Tommy Lee is glad he chose alcohol when his ex-wife Pamela Anderson asked him to choose between her and drink - because his fans would have been disappointed if he ditched his wild lifestyle. The former Baywatch beauty's father was an alcoholic, so she begged the Motley Cure star to stop getting drunk, because it brought back unhappy memories. But he refused to shatter his rock 'n' roll reputation. He explains, "Here's the deal. Her father was an alcoholic so she's very sensitive about it. She'd freak out hearing an ice cube hit a glass. " From the stories she's told me I think her father was pretty crazy and I reminded her of that. "I didn't want to give up drinking because I believe I can have moderation in my life. I did give up for a year, but I felt my fans would be disillusioned if they met their favourite rock star and he was drinking Evian."

And we're glad, too, Tommy, we're glad, too. (I'm using this pic again just cause I can. He looks hotter than a grasshopper at a BBQ on the 4th of July.) [LINK]

Weekend Recap

I had a super weekend with cherries on top! Thursday night was great, although all we did was talk & drink. There is nothing like catching up with friends you've had for years. What's funny about this friend is that we're better friends now than we were 12 years ago when we first met (wow, writing that made me feel old!). Friday night was a graduation party for a girl in my writing program, who happens also to be the cousin of another girl I met in college the first time around (confused yet?). So catching up with her was great, and I can't remember when we've had a chance to just talk. But I wonder why my g-f invited me and not the other girls in the program, who we were both friends with... and it seemed to be mostly family anyway. But it was still fun, with poker, darts, and pre-schoolers dancing like strippers. I digress. Saturday found me up too late to do all the things I promised myself I'd do, so it was easy to put them off until "tomorrow" (since tomorrow never comes). I had a problem. I had a baby shower and no gift, no idea of the imminent baby's gender, and no memory of their wedded last name. I'm friends with the girl, anyway, not the guy. Never met him. And she & I are the kind of friends who have known each other most of our lives but don't talk much. What's a girl to do? The party was early afternoon, I had no gift, no baby-style giftwrap, and no idea how to find them in the registry. Well, I am quite resourceful, and not the type to pay too much attention to the registry anyway. So I threw some gender-neutral baby stuff in the Target cart and sped away to the party, parking down the street from the party to create my masterpiece of giftwrap. I am a genius when it comes to procrastination. When that was over I headed home to bathe the dog, then myself, and prepare for the evening's birthday party celebration. What I needed was a nap, but sometimes they just don't come on command. So I prettied up & met some out-of-town buddies for a drink/snack at Cafe 1912. We had a really good time except for the fact that the place was so hot (the kitchen is open to the restaurant) and they took forever to get our checks. I never understand why the part of the service that comes right before tipping is often so poor. Whatever. I then went downtown to Swig to meet up with the birthday/graduation girls, Kristen & Charla (respectively) and met some losers at the bar who ended up buying copious amounts of alcohol for our party, so I forgave them some initial loserliness. From there we called the Raiford's limo service to convey us down to their spot, but they showed up so fast (wow! service!) that I stayed behind with Eye Dr. and the Japanese Pimp to finish our drinks. As usually happens, Raiford's was a blur and I did more than my fair share of dancing. Acutally I was danced with more than I cared for. I am not a rag doll, Mr. Frat Boy. Eric from the BBQ Shop tried to rescue me, but eventually we all just left. There is a point at which it becomes too croweded even for us. The rest of the crew headed to Denny's, while I headed off to sleep with visions of cute Eye Drs. in my head. Actuallly I just passed out with my contacts still in. On Sunday, understandably, I slept in for a while. Then ripped the contacts from my eyes, I pretty much laid in bed the rest of the day. Do you ever have those times when you just can't make yourself motivate? That was me after 3 days of non-stop celebrating. But it wasn't over yet: Barb from the Hi-Tone & I had plans after graduation to celebrate hers. No that she walked---if you know her, you already knew she's not the type---but we had to celebrate anyway. Just small stuff, since we are both on the old side & wiped out from the night before: dinner at the Young Ave. Deli, followed by a couple of pints at the Glass Potato, and then on to Bosco's (ooops, closing time) and quickly over to Bleu Monkey for yet another pint (only $2.50 on Sun. night--I had a Harp, but wished I'd gotten the Franziskaner Hefeweizen, which I will next time--yum!). It was a perfect night for sitting outside--we're lucky to have great patio-oriented restaurants here. Tired out, I returned home & slept for around 9 hours. Finally recovered. Forgot Danita's going away bash at Cafe Ole--and we were right next door! Oooops again.

Got Bugs? Whatcha gonna do...

Isn't feeling like you have bugs crawling on you a sign of insanity, some hallucination that has a name like visual or auditory but really tactile, I don't know what it's properly called. Maybe it's just holdover from trimming the hedges & having the tiny leaves clinging to my skin. A weird thought just occured to me. If someone wanted to kill me all s/he'd have to do is put a scorpion in my mailbox. I am short, so every week or two I stand on tiptoe and dig deep into the mailbox to check for postcards. It's not that I think I have any enemies that serious in the city, or one out of the city who'd actually drive hundreds of miles to assassinate me. (Maybe dozens of miles, but not hundreds. I'm not that mean.) It was just a weird thought. I hope my enemies don't read this post.

Walken for President!

[LINK]

Charm your date with humor!

Am I ever glad I'm not dating someone who's read (and believed) this column by Elise Nersesian on MSN. This is not an endorsement, but I am a mad clicker & this popped up on hotmail when I checked my email. I just have to point out the idiocy of taking their advice.

Funny Fundamental #1: The Bait-and-Switch... "... Step one: Deliberately misinterpret something your date says. Step two: Answer with a statement that's a play on what they've said. For example, your date may ask, 'How do you like the scones?' (the bait). Your response: 'I don't know; I've never seen The Scones in concert. Are they good?' (the switch). ... If your date laughs, it means they have a sense of humor and they're a keeper. If not, they think you're a bonehead and will do the breaking up for you." [Also makes for a painfully awkward date, esp. when this is not your natural sense of humor. Ugh!] Funny Fundamental #2: The Callback "Show your date that you're able to laugh at your mistakes — and bring back a funny moment throughout the night — with a technique called 'the callback.' ... A word of warning: Use this technique only three times in the night—after that, the joke gets old, and there's a fine line between hilarious and just reminding your date you messed up." [I hate this guy already. I think I can respect someone who mispronounces a word by accident, thoughnot deliberately and repeatedly.] Funny Fundamental #3: Character Voices "... We're not talking about Daffy Duck impressions—stick to mimicking characters in your story. ... And don't worry if you can't master an accent or if it's not a good impression—it's the effort that counts! However, don't risk trying an impression of your date while on the date. Save that for years down the road." [WARNING! Do not try this on the pre-sex dates! It will backfire, truuust me.] Funny Fundamental #4: The Save "A 'save' is when you create an awkward situation by accident and then alleviate your blunder by saying something funny. For instance, you might go on a 10-minute tirade about how much you loathe Billy Joel only to have your date tell you she's seen him in concert 14 times. At this point you may be tempted to apologize, but don't. You said what you said—equivocating just makes you look weak. To 'save' this situation, you need to take your argument to absurd proportions, and say something like, 'Obviously you're unaware that Billy Joel cheated my entire family out of our fortune.' This renders the whole conversation ridiculous, and therefore harmless." [Ok, not much I can say here, except a tirade may not be in order, but then again neither is a date with someone who's obsessed with Billy Joel. Let's move on to #5.] Funny Fundamental #5: The "Yes, And…" Tactic "The 'yes, and...' is simply building on a statement your date makes in order to move the conversation to an absurd new level. For example, if your date takes one look at the restaurant bill and says it's so high he'll have to rob a bank to cover it, don't just let his comment sit there. Take it one step further by saying, 'Sure, robbing a bank sounds like a good idea—and there's one just down the block. How about I drive the getaway car?' If, however, you aren't digging the guy, definitely don't 'yes, and...' his offer for a second date. End the improv scene right there!" [This bank-robber shtick would scare me, but so would a guy who offers to pay & then bitches about the bill. Ix-nay.]

I guess the key is that if you have to read tips online about how to be funny, you should know right then & there that you are not funny. Please do not try to be; those of us with any sense of humor will not be fooled. Or entertained. Why do I read this crap? I don't even have a date possibility. Boys are all gross. Maybe they're just gross cause it's summer & they'll get cuter with football season + bourbon.

You Americans think this is sexy?

This is Teri Hatcher, star of one of the most popular shows on tv, taking a jog recently (on the left). Look at her legs. Gross. This is okay, but anorexia is a disease? Justify that one to me, please. This is her (on the right) in the 1996 film with James Spader that stayed with me so well that I rented it twice. You probably saw it & forgot, too. She played an Olympic athlete---not exactly a fatass---in Two Days in the Valley. I think this is also in some tabloid this week, too, so don't say you just heard it from me. I only jump on the critical bandwagons, I don't drive 'em.

Thursday is the new Friday

Someone tell me what to do tonight!! I have managed to make plans for the first time in countless months, perhaps this millenium, with a friend from old school days. We only have a small window of opportunity for hanging out cause she has a kid now (yeah, of course it's a girl friend, natch). So here are my choices: Overton Square. Anywhere there---Bayou, Side Street, Bosco's---would be fine w/me but it's kinda tired like yesterday's laundry. Old Zinnie's, as that is our old hangout. Too many cute girls 10 years younger + at least 10 lbs. lighter than us (minus the freshman 15). Celtic Crossing? Patio good. Food bad. Young Avenue Deli. Maybe. I don't think it's really her kinda place. Dish? hmmmmm... I have reached the extent of my adventurousnessity. I need an intervention. Or some trendy friends.

What are you doing here?

I told you I have no time this week. Go to my other secret blog & read all the news you missed there. And wish me good luck on my exams today. I shall return this weekend.

Time wasters

I told you this was exam week, so Serrabee is quite busy. Not too busy to post a few fun linky links for y'all, though! You have bad taste in music. Your horoscope for this week. I know it's Weds., shut up. Cartoooons! Make your own graffiti for that oh-so-illegal feeling. If you have nothing better to do. via Surfilicious. Bye for now

Many moods of Serrabee

Now I am pissed off. I'm helping this bitch paint her bathroom, and although she is a friend of mine she is also a bitch because:

1. I offered to help her Sunday & she called me THREE HOURS LATE! Bitch.
2. I offered once again to help her tonight, and she's not returned my fucking phone call. Bitch.

Plus she is my friend & she' s moving. To LA. I hate her. I should really re-think this whole friendship thing. She lives on our dog walk path & I've never stopped by her house; how good a friend can she actually be, anyway? I really still like her. But she didn't even offer the requisite pizza & beer so I think something's wrong with her. Mentally.

False alarm

I think it's shaping up to be a better day already; got my paper turned in (a day early---cause I'm an overachiever!) and now I'm able to work on an essay not due til Thurs. Yay! I think I owe it to LL Cool Jay's Mama Said Knock You Out. I'm getting a jump on the new workout playlist I just uploaded to my shuffle (which actually sucks for workouts---why don't the little earbuds stay in my ears? I think they're made for the ears of Andre the Giant or something, not my delicate elfin ears.).

Think it's gonna be one'a them sad days

I started out listening to downer music this morning, which I should know better than to do. It colors the entire day when I do that. The morning news is better--at least that gets me righteously angry. For once I didn't awake to the sounds of my neighbors having a giant family reunion/party in their driveway, just a couple of yards from my bedroom window. I did notice for the first time this season leaves blowing around the street in the wake of cars, and underfoot on our daily walks. It's early for it, maybe since we've had a dry July/August. Fall is actually my favorite season. I get excited about summer and all, but when the light starts chaging to autumnal gold and the air gets just a little cooler and less oppressive, that's my time. Now that I don't dread school starting, that is. Used to be that I hated going, and faked sick so many times I got called to juvenile court. I almost failed 2nd grade because of excessive absences. Now I love school, and I'm looking for a way to spend a few more years at a PhD program. Funny how life is.

Another little-known fact about Serrabee

I have one fewer salivary gland than most of you people. Except for this little girl.

Doctors took a salivary gland from a young patient's mouth and put it into her eye in the hopes of replacing her tears, and improving her chances of getting a cornea transplant.

I don't think it's called a salivary gland anymore if it's making tears. I wonder how they get the ducts all lined up & stuff. What if you're watering your eyes with spittle? I suppose it doesn't matter if you're legally blind.

Dr. Randal Paniello took a saliva gland from her mouth and transplanted it so it now drains into her right eye. If it works, Sierra could then have a cornea transplant and see again. ... "She's all healed. She did great!" says Dr. Paniello.

Yeah she's healed, except that she's still blind, of course. And why did they have to do this rare surgery in the first place? Oh, yeah, because of drugs they put her on in the first place.

Sierra Guillen lost the ability to make tears after a severe allergic reaction to a seizure medication about two and a half years ago. Her eyes are now so dry, she's extremely sensitive to light, always rubbing them. And her corneas are so scarred she's become legally blind, able to see only colors and shapes.

Just take this as an example of what your doctors can do for you: Would you rather be legally blind or risk a seizure? Please, get a second opinion before ever having any surgery.

I found a new job

Inspectors in bikinis undover tax frauds [LINK] Little-known fact about Serrabee: I don't even own a 1-piece bathing suit. Perhaps I have a new career waiting for me & should eschew the PhD program in Gender Studies.

Superstar!

My badass dog just ate a wasp that made its way into the house. Max, I salute you. You are truly a superstar guard dog and I will never again make fun of you for barking at the Domino's commericals. In fact, I will save some of your DNA so I can have you cloned and create a super race of drone dogs like in Star Wars.

Hope you did your part this weekend

If not, you have all week to catch up on your binge drinking. Yeah, I'm too busy to post anything especially interesting---I'm helping a friend paint her studio since she's moving to LA, then I have homework:

1. Argue why a 6-month waiting period should be introduced into TN's marriage laws
2. Write an essay using the feminist methodology of criticism (American, French, or British) on Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper" and Hurston's "Sweat"

I did go out last night, but it was a complete failure at having fun. You know those nights where you just never find The Party? That was us. There was no good music to hear, so we barhopped unsuccessfully, and then I got stuck sitting by You Know Who at Bosco's. Yik. I did see an old friend for the first time in... maybe 6 or 9 months? I'm not sure. It's a weird feeling to have someone know something you cannot recall telling her---and then have her say, "yeah, I read it on your blog". We are too lazy to keep up with people individually, so we create mechanisms by which we can communicate with several of them concurrently.

I know it's over, still I cling... I don't know where else I can go

Wow, this is just the week of goodbyes in the entertainment realm. I mean, without anyone dying or anything. Now Chapelle's Show is officially ix-nayed, straight from everybody's favorite Charlie Murphy:

TV Guide: What is the status Chappelle's Show's third season? (Titular host Dave Chappelle went AWOL in May, bringing production to a halt.} Will it ever air? Murphy: Nah, not on television. We shot over half the season, man. Season 3 is ready. But if they're not going to show it right now... when? Are they going to show it next year?

TV Guide: What do you think Comedy Central will do with the eight episodes that have already been shot? Murphy: I don't know. They had a big screening where they looked at the episodes and everyone was happy with what they had. They have possession of it. [My guess is] it'll go straight to DVD and they'll say, "Here's the Season 2 DVD for sale for Christmas — and it [will have] Season 3's unseen footage."

TV Guide: So is that it for Chappelle's Show? Murphy: Chappelle's Show is over, man. Done. ... I'm disappointed it ended the way it did, but I'm not angry with anybody. Chappelle's Show was like the Tupac of TV shows. It came out, it got everybody's attention, it was a bright shining star, but it burned out and for some strange reason, it burned out quick. ... [LINK]

I wish I could say I think it's a shame, but in retrospect I do believe they've sort of done all they can do with it. Except for Paul Mooney's stuff & the Ask a Gay Dude bits. The absolute best sketch was the first one from the first episode of the first season; for those of you who don't remember it, or have the DVD, it was the black 'white supremacist' guy, based on Dave's grandfather. Check Charlie out in Roll Bounce due out this fall [watch the trailer].

Goddamn that robot made my day

So long, and domo arigato to Mr. Roboto + Automusik. This has been the biggest day in the death of the robot-inspired fake celebrity that I can remember. So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised-- I'm just a man who needed someone, and somewhere to hide. I think these words are fitting for both of our robotic friends. I'm not a hero, I'm not a saviour, forget what you know. I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control Apparently it's difficult to have 1-a job; 2-a blog; and 3-a real life at the same time. And be a nightlife consultant for travel guides on the side. I am the modern man, who hides behind a mask So no one else can see my true identity (Except for all the pics up now, whatevs.) So... Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto For doing the jobs that nobody wants to And thank you very much, Mr. Roboto For helping me escape just when I needed to

remain clean.

in a pathetic and useless attempt to encourage participation with [AUTOMUSIK] every other inferior local band, [AUTOMUSIK] has decided to break itself apart into distinct and separate units. in order to collect credibility among those who are highly skilled in attempting to appear in accordance with the current local fashions and trends, [AUTOMUSIK] has made a conscious and deliberate effort to become physiologically dependent upon mostly illegal and highly incommon substances, mainly consisting of, but not limited to, those which can be inhaled through the three main oral orifices. [AUTOMUSIK] does, in fact, hope to gain an even greater level of accuracy by escalating intake parameters to also include certain injectable liquids, tablets and or capsules which can be passes directly into the digestive system and certain commercially available children’s’ medicated liquids. [AUTOMUSIK] will then begin to engage in public verbal exchanges within itself, aimed at the dissolution of [AUTOMUSIK]. it is by this means that [AUTOMUSIK] is verbalizing its intention to produce the final [AUTOMUSIK] public manifestation of the musikal type prior to its period of aimless and unwarranted forays into mediocrity and frivolous side-projects. [FEMALE ROCK UNIT #1] and [FEMALE ROCK UNIT #2] may or may not re-form as a pointless and pungent collective with [MICHELLE WILLIAMS] and begin to refer to themselves as [FATE’S OFFSPRING], where they will exude fake sensuality and occasionally perform without the aid of prerecorded vocal mechanizations. [AUTOMUSIK], as a singular entity, may or may not embark upon a relentless series of solo undertakings with [STING], [ELTON JOHN] and [ROD STEWART]. The project will traverse under the moniker [THE IRRELEVANCY TOUR: SOUNDTRACK FOR AN AUTOMOBILE COMMERCIAL]. your final opportunity to view this version of [AUTOMUSIK] will come at the following: wednesday august.03.2005 first wednesday event memphis brooks museum 1934 poplar avenue memphis.tennessee the doors will open at 6.00.pm the [AUTOMUSIK] will being at 7.00.pm the film [AUTOMUSIK CAN DO NO WRONG] will begin at 8.00.pm entrance fee: free for museum members. $5.00(US) for non-members. remain clean. I will be there, I hope, and maybe I'll see you there.

News Flash: From the UK Times Online

Basra blogger murdered Steven Vincent, who wrote about alleged corruption in UK-controlled Iraq, is killed .

There are strong suspicions that Mr Vincent, who received numerous death threats, was murdered in an attempt to silence him. Four days before his death he had written an opinion piece in The New York Times in which he said that the police force in the British-controlled city had been heavily infiltrated by Shia Muslim extremist militias, who were responsible for carrying out hundreds of murders of prominent Sunni Muslims. Vincent was aware that his writing put him in danger. On July 9, he flagged up on his blog an article that he had written for the Christian Science Monitor about the religious parties who he said now dominated Basra. He wrote: "When you read this, keep in mind that for various reasons - not the least of which were safety concerns - the piece only scratches the surface of what is happening here."

Well, it was only a matter of time before bloggers started getting treated like the rest of the media. Let this be a lesson to you bloggers out there.

How to lose your guy friends (a girl's guide)

1. Start dating one of them. He will never again be your friend. Neither, perhaps, will his friends.
2. Tell them what you really, really think of his new girlfriend. (I haven't tried this one yet, but I have friends who can vouch for it!)
3. Start trying to "improve" him---wardrobe, nasty habits, diction, etc. Works like a charm.
4. Get a boyfriend whom none of your guy friends likes. They will scatter like pigeons.
5. Date a man who is posessive, or become posessive of one you're daing & justify your posessiveness by telling yourself you don't see male friends, so he shouldn't see female friends. It sounds fair when you put it like that, right?
6. Introduce him to one of your girlfriends, fix them up, and wave goodbye. You may never be allowed to fraternize again (see rule #5; your friend may be this girl).
7. Make him read your poetry. Your poetry is probably bad; most poetry is.
8. Complain to him about your current boyfriend. You will feel guilty about it and he will become sick of it very, very quickly. Men are not like women in this way (you can beetch all you want to your gf's about bf's transgressions).
9. Try to take him shopping. Make him tell you what he thinks of your outfits. Men will only do this if they really, really want to sleep with you. If he goes shopping with you more than once, beware: you're out of friend territory (see When Harry Met Sally).
10. Sleep with a guy friend (fastest route to ending friendship).

I taste like ciggies

Yik. I quit smoking about 5 years ago, when I bought my house & made the no-smoking rule for it. So it's not often that I taste like cigarettes, obviously, but today I had lunch at Garibaldi's (yik again) and I have smoky mouth. Nobody kiss me. I tried brushing but think I am extra-sensitive to smoke flavors now. Like, for example, I can't stand the smoked duck spring rolls at Bosco's. Just one of those things. The Garibaldi's get-together was some people from class, which I thought was to celebrate finishing our exam; apparently, this is a guy ritual to go drink pitchers after class every day. Liquid lunch (didn't that go out in the 80's?) It's a gender class---which makes me wonder, do they go there for a masculine bonding ritual, or to talk about chicks?---and I should just know better by now than to talk to guys who wear baseball caps backwards about reality. Cause they never get it. I'm going to go brush again. Wish me luck. Yik!

White Stripes (pah!)*

I read this in the Flyer: "After all, the White Stripes' appeal isn't merely the idea of the band, but its music. And, in this case, that means Jack's music. He is a major talent, an authentic rock genius on the order of a Neil Young or Van Morrison, the kind that mainstream music culture doesn't create much anymore." Uh, excuse me Mr. H, but isn't it a little early to make that comparison? I mean first of all that Jack White has 1/nth of the output of either Young or Morrison. All he seems to have is some of the popular impact of both---plus the paunch of James in his last years. If he would follow Morrison's diet maybe he'd die young and be remembered forever like Joplin, Hendrix, Patsy Cline, and those guys who had that plane wreck. I personally think that's his best chance for endless fame. EIther that, or the Robert Smith of this century. *This derisive sound is required following utterance of the 2 prior words in this succession (i.e. "White Stripes"---pah!).