Back in Memphis now

I went out of town this weekend on what was perhaps the easiest trip to the FL panhandle of my career. Actually, I remember it being pretty easy when I was a little younger, now that I think about it. But this time was, I hope, the last time I have to make that trip by myself (Max, though normally great company, can't help drive so he doesn't count). Next time I go down I-55 will be with someone else, either to the beach or New Orleans, and I can't say it makes me sad. My sister is moving with her family to Knoxville---which is great for me, so I'll only have to go 6 hours away to see the whole family---so I'll just be going on I-40 more often. That's okay, though, cause I have a friend in Nastyville & it will be a good excuse to see more of her. I have invited myself for a few days next month to check out her new house. I'd like to go over for a weekend before that, but we'll just hafta see. I don't know if you noticed, but I have been very busy lately. Just drive down my street & you can see evidence in my front yard: the grass grew high, the hollies lost their shape, and the weeds had a heyday in the hedge. (The life of a homeowner who spends all her money on the home, so that none is left for the yard boy!) Cha, my life is sumptin' else, ain't it? (Sorry I'm more boring than usual lately. I promise it's just a reflection of my real life & I'm not hiding exciting details from y'all.)

I am severely disturbed...

...to hear that the WB frog is out of a job. I have fond memories of him from the original cartoon, and will miss seeing his spiffy little frog self. (Via Dustbury, who has some employment ideas for our amphibious friend.)

Adventures in the life of my kitty

My cat had been missing for over 48 hours, and I was starting to get worried. She doesn't usually stay away in the heat for very long, so I thought maybe that was the last time I'd see that lucky black cat. When I finally got up the gumption to mow my lawn Friday evening, there was little Sunshine, prowling around and getting in the way. But not a peep from her since then. She often stays out all night, or even up to 24 hours, but two full days and nights is pushing it. So the other night when I was giving the tour of the house to a friend's guest in from St. Louis, and she wanted to see the backyard, I was startled---and more than a little relieved---to hear the muffled cries of my little Sunshine cat. Coming from the garage. Where she knows full well she's not supposed to go (I know this because whenever I see her sneaking in there, she runs away like she's been doing something bad). I'm surprised with the heat that I didn't open the garage to find a little kitty corpse (which might have been the case had I not heard her Sunday night). So thank you, Jorja, for leading me (however accidentally) to the living Sunshine kitty.

You Are The Sunshine Of My Life That's Why I'll Always Stay Around You Are The Apple Of My Eye Forever You'll Stay In My Heart

I Feel Like This Is The Beginning Though I've Loved You For A Million Years And If I Thought Our Love Was Ending I'd Find Myself Drowning In My Own Tears

You Must Have Known That I Was Lonely Because You Came To My Rescue And I Know That This Must Be Heaven How Could So Much Love Be Inside Of You

by Stevie Wonder

I just don't think it can be done

People will not ever be able to deal with differences in others. I see it in the news on a global level, I hear about it on a personal level... it's even accepted in most popular forms of artistic expression. I saw it growing up in a very religious rural area as a non-Christian; I had no doctrine to sell, but just rejecting theirs openly made me a target, a threat to be dealt with. If someone isn't like you, your job is to alienate that person, to make her life uncomfortable to the point of unhappy, to drive her out of your community, to make sure you are surrounded only by people who approve of your way of life---who will never question your comfort level, or make you think, or challenge your lifestyle in any way. Why don't we all just become hermits? [LINK]

WOW

That is my one-word review of Hustle & Flow. It's been a long time since I've felt so wrapped up in a film that I want it to hurry up, but liked it so much that I didn't want it to end. (I'm thinking Fight Club was it.) H&F was truly a must-see-again movie. I think I'd like to see it at the Majestic next time to get the full effect of audience participation now that I've heard the dialog already (we went to Studio yesterday). I wonder if people not familar with Memphis will get the fact that its flavor is so authentic to Memphis, even if you've never had daily dealings with people like D Jay, Suge, and Key. Plus I loved the neighbor bit---I don't think the guy ever spoke a line. I loved how everyone sweated all thru the movie, too, and it focused on the misery life is without A/C in Mphs. Loved Josey Scott's and Michael Hooks Jr.'s cameos, although I don't want to spoil any of it for y'all. Oooh! Ice cream truck---gotta motor. Go see the movie, y'all, just go see it.

hi ho, hi ho, we're off to hustle & flow

Memphis' own [Craig Brewer's] Hustle and Flow got 2 good reviews from the Wash Post this week. The NYT was less effusive, but not really negative. What is canny but clumsy, anyway? I think my dad dissed it based on the preview he saw on MTV. So, of course, I said to him: "What the hell are you doing watching MTV, Dad??" He said cause it had something on Memphis while he was flipping channels. Sheesh. I'll be back with my one-word review of the movie later today. Oh, yeah, and doing homework sometime in there, too!

Tapped out

I am utterly, absolutely, and thoroughly exhausted. In relation to yesterday's ruminations and recriminations, I'd like to tell you some things I don't like about living here:

1. You can't do certain things for about 3 months out of the year without getting heatstroke or risking sun poisoning. Like mow your lawn, even after the sun has gone behind the trees (I just tried that this evening). Or golfing (a friend tried that this week). Or go to the Hi-Tone when anyone else is there (tried that last month). I'm sure there are other examples, but my point is all you can do is lay about in a pool sipping lemonade from June to September.
2. The casinos are close enough to suck tourist traffic and cheesy rock shows out, but not close enough to make real crossover for gamblers into the city a viable option. It's a cash drain, and I don't like to gamble, so it's a lose-lose for me.
3. Uninsured motorists. And having my license plate clipped, in effect stolen, last weekend.
4. The politics of non-profits and government here. It's too mired in years of mutual back-scratching and historic corruption. We need to consolidate, throw everybody out, and start over. Now.

That's about it. I'm pretty happy here, provided the job market offers something for me in a few months. Not too picky---I'll take something that falls short of fulfilling my soul (it's pretty full already, anyway)---as long as it doesn't lower my quality of life like my last shitty job did.

memphis is

memphis is not memphis is reality memphis is worrisome memphis is a party kind of street memphis is definitely elvis' town memphis is an equal opportunity/affirmative memphis is a party kind of street where the music is sweet memphis is dead if money or poltics don't prosper memphis is lyrics from songlyrics memphis is a venue memphis is dead memphis is a gamer's delight memphis is sixth at raising cane memphis is an equal opportunity/affirmative action employer memphis is continually evolving and so is its major metropolitan area memphis is however coming back to life according to residents memphis is an international marketplace memphis is under construction memphis is growing memphis is rich memphis is just up the road memphis is the greek translation memphis is the opposite of virtual memphis is where blues music was first put on paper by wc handy memphis is the 18 th largest US city with a population of about 650,000 memphis is the largest city in the southern state of tennessee memphis is also the birthplace of the blues memphis is pretty alarming memphis is known the world over memphis is the "pork barbeque capital of the world" memphis is committed to matching the talents of its dancers to your specific needs memphis is the 18th largest city in the us memphis has a land area of 295 sq mi memphis is the greek name for the administrative capital of ancient egypt memphis is birthplace of modern wrestling memphis is a conservative memphis is dead memphis is dead memphis is at the gateway to the mississippi delta memphis is a great choice for family vacations or business travelers memphis is dedicated to the promotion of awareness about earthquakes memphis is the home of the blues and the birthplace of rock and roll memphis is dedicated to being a leader in technology memphis is at your doorstep every day memphis is no easy task memphis is a great place to live memphis is a city with an identity problem memphis is the largest city in the state of tennessee memphis is one square mile and was named after memphis memphis is quickly becoming one of the most popular places to live memphis is located approximately 60 miles from the center of the us population memphis is heavily touristed with many attractions from graceland to mud island memphis is making great strides but remains separated by race memphis is known around the world for two kings memphis is where the music is memphis is upgraded to give customers luxury experience memphis is the regional center for the degrees at a distance fire service program memphis is one of the best albums elvis presley ever made memphis is where it's rocking memphis is an outstanding anthology of stories memphis is expanding its lead overall as north america's logistics center memphis is also the birthplace of holiday inns and famous for tasty ribs My favorites in bold. I would like to add that Memphis is also the name of an of Italian design group from the 80's. That's just like me, putting my 2 cents in (isn't it weird there's no cents symbol on the keyboard, just a $?). Courtesy googlism, edited by Serrabee.

Thursday night and Friday will be on Tuesday night instead

Apologies to World Party. I have an exam & a paper due tomorrow, so I'm just really excited about getting an early start on my weekend. Of course, I still have to be a seat-warmer by 9am Friday, so I can't get 4-in-the-morning crazy. But I don't think I'll be staying in and watching 30 Days tomorrow night, either. I just watched the coolest episode last week, I think it was. Did anyone see the Dancing Rabbit commune one? I think I want to live there. Except for dumpster diving---what if somebody comes out with a shotgun while you're rifling thru their bins, thinking you're giant racoons? I'll probably catch up next week---tonight was the season finale, but didn't look too promising. It's about binge drinking, and I don't believe watching a middle-aged woman drink copious amounts for a month will prove anything to her college-freshman daughter. But we shall see, Morgan Spurlock, we shall see.

Googly eyes

Sorry to report that Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka has googly eye syndrome. It distracted me through the entire movie; of course I wanted sweets, too---it's like trying to shop for groceries when you're hungry for dinner. Not to be attempted b/c you can't concentrate on a dammed thing. Anyway, go read the book. As usual in these cases it was far better.

Harold Ford's got my number

He's sent me an email, so it's not really a number but a sequence of letters and numbers... I s'pose it's from all the emails I've sent him complaining about one thing or another in the state legislature. So now that he's got his sights set on the Senate seat Bill Frist is vacating, he has the audacity to respond when he's never responded before. Well, he would respond with one of those auto-responses: "Thank you for your email, Rep. Ford is interested in hearing what you have to say, etc., etc., blah-blah-blah" but it doesn't count. It's one step up from the "Thanks for your purchase" emails from Amazon and one step down from forwarded jokes from your buddies. I have a friend who was fundraising for him, and was invited to a $50 event last month which I was unable to attend. She said I could pay whatever---they would just be happy to have the cash! Which meant, I guessed, that there would be no free food & drinks. No, that is NOT why I didn't go. Really. I do believe that anyone would be better than Sen. Frist, even Prince Mongo (or whatever he's calling himself these days), but Junior is our best bet for a Dem. to win TN. Our last best hope. The Great White Hope, if you will. (He's lighter than me in the summertime. But I have been known to resemble a Puerto Rican with my summer bronze.) I digress. I mean to do what I can for Jr.'s campaign---even if it's not financial support---and encourage others to do the same (yes, that means here). So get ready, peepulz.

Goody goody gumdrops

This is the cutest elucidation of the 7 so-called "Deadly" Sins I've seen. Plus, Emmy noms are out:

NBC's Will & Grace, which despite declining ratings scored nods for all of its stars (save Debra Messing)....

Good. maybe now we won't have to hear about how Debra Messing is the next Lucy Ball. She's just a redhead, not a trailblazer like Lucy. And apparently Eva Longoria was the only woman in the cast of Desperate Housewives skipped over, as well. Serves her right for relying on nothing but a giant head atop a teeny body and a character full of sexist, racist stereotypes to get famous. So really, my only complaint is Jennifer Garner's nomination. Give me the intense training & makeup artists she's had in Alias and I'd do just as well as she has. Maybe better. Nooo, I'm not just jealous of her man. I hated her before she stole my make-believe boyfriend, when she was just a no-talent-havin' talking head.

La de da

I love a good discussion as much as the next girl, but for some reason gender seems like as anger-making as any other discussion (reigion, politics, childrearing). In my sociaology class today --- just a requirement that fit my schedule --- we got off on a huuuuge discussion of PMS. Do I really need to hear about everyone's experiences with women's menstrual cycles? These 5 frat/ROTC boys seem to think because they're in the minority that their opinions are valuable to the 15 women in the class. Even the Bosnian fraternity guy who seems to think that to know someone who is a woman that he is an authority on women? Puh-leaze. Maybe I don't really like just any discussions; maybe I only like discussions among intelligent people based on fact; maybe I don't like paying good money to hear the frat boys' experiences of gender. Neither does my friend George in the class---but he says he doesn't talk cause all these other guys fill up the airspace. There is something wrong when 75% of the regular speakers in th\ room come from the 25% minority. Men, get this: we may want to talk all night about what you think, remember, or admire about us as individuals---but we just don't want to sit in class listening to your prejudices and stereotypes about our gender. Thanks.

Oh, Be-lize

I have some friend visiting Belize at the end of this month, and so was talking to him about the possibilty of Hurricane Emily hitting there. It made me realize something: I don't have an idea of what Belize is like, where it is besides in the Carribean, or anything. Which made me feel very stupid and American. We are so ignorant of our surroundings outside the little box we inhabit. Granted, we live in a large country and so memorizing the state capitals took half of 5th grade (not a problem most nations deal with). But I think it's really a choice to remain ignorant of places in South America, Asia, and what we think of as lesser nations. My last boyfriend referred to them as 3rd world nations if they weren't one of the G8. Yes, he was an idiot (and remains so to this day) but it points out something very insidious: Americans don't think we need to learn about these places because they're beneath us. So, here is some info on Belize. It's larger than I thought. And it looks like the hurricane might swing into the Gulf of Mexico, which is good for my friends on vacation but super sucky for my family. C'est la vie. And here is Indonesia. Cause I don't know much about them, either. Except they are portrayed as trouble in the Western Media. I wonder if Western inlcudes Australia & New Zeland? Hmmmm.

Fabulous chicken salad

I have finally, through much persistent hard work, bribery, and blackmail, obtained a recipe (of sorts) for fabulous chicken salad. It is really just a set of vague instructions:

Boil 6-8 chicken breasts in water with garlic powder & meat tenderizer until done. When they've cooled, shred them to an almost powdery consistency in your Cuisinart (or any food processor). Dump it all into a bowl, adding more garlic powder, Mrs. Dash original seasoning, celery seed/salt, and S&P to taste. Actually, wait to taste it until you've added enough mayo to make it creamy. Not too much or it makes a gross sound when you squish it with a fork (and then you won't want to eat it). Add diced onions, celery, pecans, walnuts, and grapes if you want.

I highly recommend you try it today. If you like it, I have a recipe for super curried chicken salad that's yummy, too. *Note: Don't make the mistake of thinking Miracle Whip is the same as mayonaise, if you're Southern. Trust me. It's salad dressing, and while that's fine for some things---like devilled eggs---it just isn't the same in chicken salad.

Eeediots

If you haven't heard, the blogosphere is abuzz with the baker's dozen of overrated songs. I know, it's a lame post after abandoning you all weekend... I've been busy, y'all. Most overrated songs playlist 1. American Pie - Don McLean 2. Light My Fire - The Doors (Robbie Krieger) 3. Free Bird - Lynyrd Skynyrd 4. Hey Ya! - Outkast 5. Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard 6. Wonderwall - Oasis (George Harrison) 7. Memory - Andrew Lloyd Webber 8. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen 9. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2 10. Totally Wired - The Fall 11. Born To Run - Bruce Springsteen 12. Chewing Gum (Vocal mix) - Annie 13. Imagine - John Lennon (Richie Havens) I won't even get into what I disagree with (most of these). It's funny to think that the distinction between "most overrated" and "most overplayed" can be so blurred; I really believe a lot of these songs---most of the ones on this list---are so hated because they were played to death by radio stations in major markets. Try listening to your local college radio station or (gasp!) not listening to radio at all, and you suddenly don't hate hearing these songs so much. I don't even know what #12 is. Anyone? Bueller?

Go read this post:

She's a fabulous writer. Yeah, really, and I'm modest, too! I just don't want to confuse my life with the larger world out there. What is going on in it is much more dramatic, and traumatic, than the fuzziness in my life. Cliche alert: It makes you feel so lucky to read/watch/listen to the news sometimes.

Missed a post

Somehow I lost my 4th of July Extravaganza post from Monday. (We celebrated early.) Maybe you can catch some pool party pix on mL's site. Someday. Whenever she gets around to posting them. Anyway, there were some great photos early on in the day, but as things went on we were much worse for wear. So was the redneck pool. Well, they did say they wanted to know how many people could fit in there at one time! A: Quite a lot, but you lose a lot of water that way. It looked quite deflated the next morning. I think patching up the ciggy burn hole, re-filling, & shocking it w/chemicals did the trick. Anyway, a good time was had by all. For your viewing enjoyment I will share jami's fireworks pix since mine sucked. Partly due to poor camera quality; partly due to operator error; partly due to smokers on the horizon (e.g. right upwind of the photographer!). I never want to take pictures instead of enjoying the show. The one exception was filming Sheryl Crow show at MusicFest---maybe 1999?---right after she got her hair cut very short (I liked her better then). That actually made the show better---more memorable at least---for me and my companions in crime. We were so close to getting busted. I'd have cried if they caught us but we played innocent. It's creepy how those security guys can wade into a crowd of thousands and make a beeline for one person doing something like filming an illegal video.

p.s. to Kizzle: I checked & the post did say flying, but meant as in speedy---not airplanes. You were right, I was wrong, yadda yadda yadda....

History Lesson

Len C gives us a much-needed history lesson in everyone's favorite household appliance. I'm not exactly sure how comfortable I am with the slideshow---probably NSFW for those of you who are employed at conservative places---but it's quite educational. Weird to see what lengths people will go to in order to disguise anything sexual (i.e. vibrators sold as "hand massagers"). Original article on Slate. Also listen to NPR's coverage of AL's ban on sex toys. Plus I remembered seeing an irate letter to the Ed. of the Flyer last week:

To the Editor:

I picked up your Summer Issue '05 (June 16th) to read the article about Scandaliz Vandalistz by Bianca Phillips. A few pages later, Phillips listed her "cool spots" on Summer Avenue. At the top of the list? Paris Adult [Theatre], which in its supreme coolness "sells and rents porno movies — gay, straight, and fetish." Pornography is completely not cool, and I am appalled that The Memphis Flyer would describe it as anything but detrimental, degrading, and dangerous. In the future, please act with discretion and responsibility. Gwen Daniels Memphis

It made me laugh out loud. First, when has the Flyer acted with either discretion or responsibilty? And next, don't they always have pages of strip club ads? So they're obviously not anti-porn, knowing the lenient regulations on Memphis strip joints.

Everything new is old again.

I've just been listening to The Editors at Cherry Blossom---nice, but haven't we heard this somewhere before? Seriously, why does EVERYone have to sound so much the same? I realize musical styles rise and fall like the tide (am I mixing my metaphors?) but I feel people should just play what the feel. Maybe all these people are developing genres in the collective unconscious or something, however that may or may not operate, but I just don't find myself convinced that's whats happening in music. Anyway, The Editors are fine. I don't mean to pick on them---sorry, guys. Did I mention you're cute in a mournful British way?

Pho Hoa Binh, you broke my heart

I was really craving hot & sour soup today. Why do you take a Tuesday off just because Monday is a holiday? Whatthehell? I was forced to go to the not-even-a-close second Dragon China. Or is it Golden Dragon? Whatevah. It makes little difference what color your dragon is if you hot & sour soup isn't even very hot. or sour. and what happened to the tofu? It ruined my day. In other news, I'm pretty much done for the 1st summer session. Woo-hoo! Next week starts it all back up for me, but in the meantime I'll be making a flying trip back to KnoxVegas (stopping to see my ex-stepdog in Nashpatch) this weekend. But with the wonders of modern technology, you won't even know I'm gone. You people all come thru on Mondays, anyway. No wonder it is statistically the least productive day in the work week. That is, except for Fridays when most of you take off anyway!

it just started pouring rain

Thank god. Hopefully it will drive the fireworks-crazy neighbors inside for the rest of the night & my house will not be burned down. Last year I got bottle rockets all over my roof. Welcome to the neighborhood, eh?

The L word

Not the show, cause I don't have Showtime. But this blog entry made me think about how lucky I am to have had a demonstrative family, and as a result to be a loving person with my extended family network (i.e. my friends). But I never say the L word with guys. How do you know when you mean it? I love my friends, and if I date you I must like you well enough to include you in that important circle. But saying the L word to The Guy is so weird; you love him but you don't know if you mean forever. What is forever, anyway? And why make promises you don't know if you can keep? Isn't it enough that I care about you enough to let you into my life, and that I cherish you as a person, and value you so that I will never intentionally hurt you?

ugh

I just don't think I can handle another date with the new guy. At a certain point, lack of humor and wit becomes a problem in communication. I don't think he gets any of my jokes; it's not that they're really that unfunny, he really just cannot tell when I'm making a joke & when I'm serious. Plus, we really don't have much in common as far as I can tell. Unfortunately, I already invited him to a friend's cookout today (which I would not have done had I known he was going to show up last night. I asked who was going to be there & his name never came up. I was tricked!). So I will have to spend another few hours with him glued to my side unless I can get my lesbian girlfriend to pry him away somehow. She'll probably take offense if I ask, though. You know how lesbians can be....

Wouldn't it be nice

if we didn't have to watch all those pre-movie commericals? Many people would be happy with just the previews, and I for one would be much happier with nothing but whatever I've actually paid to see. I can't tell you how many previews we saw for Open Water---so many that I thought I'd seen the movie itself. Of course when it came out, it flopped. Probably because we all felt like we'd seen enough of it in trailers. Or maybe because they stressed it was a true story---ick. So I decided what I want to do for a living. Wouldn't it be fun to be one of those people who interprets body language for People and US? Maybe I could even analyze handwriting on the side. And wouldn't it be great if the driving test really weeded out people who couldn't drive? I'd glady take one every year with my tag renewal if it would help. I almost rear-ended some crazy bitch yesterday who was completely stopped in the left lane of Central (heading west---if she'd have been moving, that is). I came around the corner at Buntyn---the light was green---and there she was, a few yards past the intersection, sitting her stupid SUV-non-driving ass in the middle of the lane. So of course I deftly move into the right lane to avoid her, no biggie, cause I'm used to driving in Memphis. What does she do when she sees me coming around the curve at 40mph? She pulls into the right lane!!! I laid down a few inches of rubber but did not either hit her or get out of my car and beat her sorry ass. I am not a violent person normally. But, damn! Thanks, I do feel better now.

up-Date

So we went out last night, just for a little while, cause when you don't go out until 11:30 and you're 30 years old, you just can't stay out too late. It was fine---Cory Branan at the Hi-Tone---but Serrabee is not at her best at the witching hour. Didn't help that I had my near-nightly ritual phone call with my dad (aka 'Dud') before getting ready to go out. The body remembers these things and prepares you for slumberland whether you want it to or not. Anyway, like I said it was fine but not really very date-like. We just drank a couple of beers---the air conditioning didn't seem to be functioning---and chatted in between songs. It was not one of Cory's better shows, not that most of them are, and he pulled Ben Nichols up on stage with him to help out. Of course then they just got drunk together (with some help from Rachel of Scenestars) and it all went pear-shaped. So we talked a little, but not too much, which is good for getting to know someone. Dinner & a movie is just too high-pressure. I remember a couple of first-date situations that were either dinner or a movie, and you have either too much time to talk (dinner) or not enough (movie). Unless the movie leads to conversation, and it was so great you have to talk about it over drinks afterward. Like Fight Club. But I digress. It was just not sparkling conversation like I had with my last b.f., and I don't know if I'm so ready to date again that I end up with someone. . . well, just end up with someone. I think maybe I'm better off alone right now. It's sad to think that you either put up with someone on one end of the personality spectrum, sparkly brilliant but dangerous, or settle for someone one the other end, relatively dull but safe.