Men I have known

I am taking a wee break from dating, and have been thinking about guys in my life over the past ten years or so. Was it all wasted time, or have I actually learned something from some of them? There was the guy who, when I asked one time if something was wrong, he told me he was an alcoholic. And we weren't even 21 yet. I just meant, Was he in a bad mood that day? or something like that. And the one who told me he'd date me if his friend didn't like me more than he did. I never understood that. Then there was the guy who told me he was disappointed my pets weren't older cause they'd probably live too long for his liking. He had a secret fish he never told me about until it died. That was a shock to me--not the fish dying, since I never knew about it--the not knowing about the pet fish when I thought we knew everything about each other. And along the road I dated a guy who stole his own house--pretty creative, or stupid, or both. His loan was through his parents, and when he put the house on the market (never trust FSBO's) he asked for a cashier's check. Probably just stupid. Rumor is he's in Venice Beach now. One summer I actually dated a guy who didn't wear socks with his loafers--eewww! Europeans. What can you say. And another European who smelled sooo sexy when he was sweaty. That freaked me out pretty thoroughly. Then there was the guy I slept with to get over him, or just get past him. Later ran into him at a party as the date of my girlfriend, while I was with pet-hater guy. That was awkward for all 4 of us. And the guy my family all liked. (Hi J, are you reading this?) We'd have made better siblings than spouses. And last, there was the guy I loved so much I actually hated him. That is a scary feeling. So, what do all these guys have to teach me? That I'm drawn to men who are self-confident, funny, charming, and attractive even when they are like hollow men. I don't want my boyfriend to be smarter that I. I never date people I can really lean on. And I learned that there is no substitute for honest, unmitigated physical attraction. Ever.