Bitchin'

My brain feels like it's going to expand out of my skull every time I cough, which is around every 6 seconds today, and my head feels strained even when I'm just breathing normally. This is not to say I'm not getting better; I am, but it's like stairsteps rather than an exponential improvement. Stairsteps with plateaus, landings, whateveryacall'em, in between. On top of all that I have class or work at 8AM every day of the godforsaken week. Grr. Argh. I still love you all, and just wanted to remind you of that.

It's addictive

10 things every single girl must own By Amy Spencer Sure, you've got the perfect shade of lipstick and the little black dress... but is that all you need? Hardly. [edited for blah blah blah] 1. A fabulous photo of yourself We all have that photo: The one where your smile, hair, and (let's be honest) bod all come together in one sexy little package,.... Post that sucker at eye level on your fridge so your male guest can't help but notice it as he checks out if you have beer (see item #5). What he says: "Is that you?" What he means: "Daa-aamn, girl, you're hotter than I realized!" [what you hear: "wow, you sure have aged!"] 2. A pretty pair of heels ... And no, they don't have to be towering stilettos, even a pair of 1-inch kitten heels will make you stride a little more confidently. (Added bonus: The taller you are, the more cute men you'll be able to see around the room.) [oh, so thaaat's my problem] 3. An Eminem CD ... But if all he sees is a stack of girl bands (say, the Indigo Girls, the Go-Go's, Joni Mitchell and the Bridget Jones' Diary soundtrack), he's going to panic. Balance out your collection with one CD, any CD, by Eminem and you have no idea how relieved he'll be. It shows you have an open mind and aren't easily offended—and that's music to any man's ears. [thanks but no thanks; i'm more of an east/west coast feud gal---and i have none of the cd's listed above. although i did impress a guy by having Biggie Smalls' Life After Death one time] 4. A great pickup line... and a way to blow 'em off In this post-chivalrous period, we can't always depend on guys to initiate contact, so prepare thyself with one simple, non-cheesy icebreaker to lay on that cutie who's making his way to your area of the bar. Our favorite: "Hi. Having fun?" (Though a friend of mine has recently taken to asking well-dressed men, "Hetero, homo or metro?") And in cases when a guy initiates contact and you're not interested, better have a better blow-off than "Ummmm, no... " Our suggestion: "Sorry, I don't think the guy I'm seeing would appreciate it." Sure, it's a lie, but it'll let him down easy—without destroying his ego or making him think you're a jerk. [check on the blowoff. i think my pickup lines are too esoteric: me: this party is so postmodern, don't you think? him: (silence. walks off. probably rolling eyes.) 5. A six-pack of good bottled beer A prepared single girl is ready to host and toast at any time. If you want to make a guy-guest feel at home and your girlfriends feel special, skip the mass-produced swill and go for microbrews like the exotically-named Smuttynose Shoals Pale Ale from Portsmouth, New Hampshire or the grandfather of microbrews, Sam Adams Boston Lager. [yeah, i have it if i've just bought it in hopes That Guy will swing by. otherwise--sorry, buddy, i already drank it] 6. Bathroom reading What man doesn't appreciate finding interesting reading in his sweetie's bathroom? So instead of tossing out your magazines when you're done reading them, toss them into a basket by the toilet. No need to go overboard with a stack of Sports Illustrated (if you don't follow sports, that would just be weird), but consider Newsweek or even Cosmopolitan (hey, this may be the only time he's a captive audience and can learn a few things). Or, just buy a book that's made for the bathroom, like Schott's Original Miscellany by Ben Schott ($10.17 at amazon.com) so he can learn a few things about shoelace lengths and sign language while he passes the, uh, time. [bring your own, you dirty man. my mags stay in the living room] 7. A business card After the age of 18, it's no longer cute to scrawl your first name and phone number on a napkin and hand it to a man who wants to call you. So if your job doesn't provide a card or you'd prefer one with your personal email address and phone number on it, then have some made at your local Kinko's. The very budget-bound can get 250 full-color business cards for free from vistaprint.com if you don't mind the company's logo on the backside of the card. Hey, it's better than nothing. A napkin he can lose. A card he'll file and keep. [note to self: get a job] 8. Earplugs Ah, there's nothing sweeter than a man who wants to cuddle up with you in bed for a long night's sleep. Unless — SNZZGGHGHRRJJZZZ! — he snores so loudly you can't get any sleep. Prepare thyself for surprise snorers with a pair of earplugs stashed in your nightstand. (2 pairs of Mack's brand self-described "snore-proof" plugs sell for $2.79 at cvs.com.) [see previous post] 9. A straight male friend on your speed-dial Every girl knows she needs a gay male friend she can go to for fashion advice (a personal Queer Eye for Your Closet). But when it comes to relationship advice, you need another source. While your female friends may have good intentions, if you really want to know if you should call that guy, save the guesswork and go to someone who's been there, done that. [again, see previous post] 10. A condom Hey ladies, you know the drill by now. If you want to be able to have spontaneous fun of the bodily kind, you have to prepare for it yourself. (Your new mantra: If you don't want it to break, you buy it.) [A condom, as in uno? hmph]

got it

I think I figured out why I am so tired and on the verge of collapse. No, it's not that I stayed out til 4:30 this morning (I know what you're thinking!). I think I may have strep throat or something equally non-fatal but debilitating. I'm tired all the time---at least I'm more tired than usual, and sometimes little things wear me out---and I have a pretty constant sore throat with a fever that comes and goes. You cannot connect that to late nights partying, except that it proabably exacerbated the situation. So I'm in for the rest of the weekend and missed the Drew Holcomb show last night, which makes me very sad. I will just have to make it up to myself by going to see David Gray in Nashville a few weeks from now. Anyone got any tickets to sell me?

OED, how I love thee...

New entry for OED Online weekend, n. DRAFT ENTRY Jan. 2006 Brit. (euphem.). something for the weekend: a condom or a supply of condoms. Also in extended use: a sexual aid, an aphrodisiac, etc. Similarly anything for the weekend. Traditionally, as part of a question, said to have been asked by barbers to their customers. 1972 Wonderful World of Sounds in Monty Python's Previous Record (gramophone record), A herd of zebras visiting the same chemist to ask for something for the weekend. 1986 A. COREN Something for Weekend 7 And..to deal with his ritual valediction 'Something for the weekend?' 'No.' 'You didn't mind me asking?' 'Of course not.' 'It's traditional.' 1987 Sunday Times (Nexis) 11 Jan., Barbers would ask our fathers: 'Anything for the weekend, sir?' 1998 Independent (Electronic ed.) 10 July 5 As the body-builders..were paying for their tins of powdered protein, they used to give me a wink and ask if I had anything for their wives, something for the weekend.

Happy Birthday again, Rolfy!

Several days late; sorry! I know I was late last year, too, but I am a little less late this time. Hope it was a good one!

Que Sera, Serrabee

Whew! am I ever exhauuuuusted. I just got back a while ago from bellydancing class, which immediately followed Digital Art, which followed Feminist Philosophy by a couple of hours, which was preceded by... some other classes starting at 8am. I'm too old for all this running around like a crazy person. Well, that's why they make you do this when you're about 10 years younger than I am. I just figured that out. A friend's mom once told me, "Education is wasted on young people," and I have come to believe she's right. Facts used to be abstract ideas floating in the ether; now everything has some application to my life experiences. I just wish I could remember all that other shit I already forgot. I hope I never stop, really stop, educating myself. People as what you want to do with your life, and I always think what I can't say: to learn as much and do as much as I can. Without endangering my life too much. I want to enjoy the fuck out of living while I can, and have no regrets when it's over. I only have a couple of regrets now, and the majority are things I wouldn't really change. Cause if I did, then I'd only know what would happen then. I want to know all the possible endings. I think I'm rambling. I'm so very tired, you understand. Thanks for your patience.

All tomorrow's parties

This was a laid-back sort of party weekend in that I went out both nights (don't always do that anymore) but didn't get crazy either night. Definitely an improvement over last weekend's night of debauchery (which included not only Yosemite Sam's of all places, but some guy Billy's apartment with a mass of people) followed by a day of sinus/cold/flu suffering. I didn't go out Thurs. like I wanted because (as I've previously noted) I have an 8am class M/W/F. But Fri. night I finished a book (fiction---the last for a few weeks, probably, with all the reading I have to do for class) and still managed to make it out to Bosco's. Tried Celtic Crossing (otherwise known as the Glass Potato) first but way too loud, crowded, & smoky for an ex-smoker (me) and a nearly-deaf girl (my friend Claire). Then we tried dish but again, too loud, croweded, & gay there to stay. Jeez, we just wanted a martini & a snack!! But we found it at Bosco's and were happy. The 10:30 crowd there is way more laid-back than the happy hour crew, & about 20 years younger on average, too. I saw a super-hot guy but he was not only too young for me, but probably also gay. (He was very clean & sensitive looking.) So I cut my losses & focused my attention on my friend & my dirty martini and was home by 1am like a good girl. The next night I went to Blue Fin for the 1st time in a solid year with my long-lost friend Don & his wife Liz, both of whom I love, and their friend Michael, who I'd not really conversed with before. He was, unfortunately, a mixture of humor, pomposity, and superiority that made you want to roll your eyes while you laughed at him---but just then he'd say something to really tickle you, so you could never be really cutting. The food was fabulous---sunomono, edamae, the Bluefin roll, and free yellowfin tuna compliments of the chef!! Yum! And the conversation was some of the most interesting I'd had in a while. I hang out with people I know too well most of the time, I think, and we tread the same ground over & over. After that we split up & I went to meet my friend at the Hi-Tone (she used to bartend there). Her fiance's band was playing their first gig (the singularly named M*therfvck!ng Pitchforks). The death-metalheads loved it, and I must admit their set, although short, was pretty tight. Halfacre Gunroom was good, I thought, at my first time seeing them live. Just the kind of alt-country rocker crap I like. A weird crew, though---young-preppy looking lead singer, professor drummer, some guy who could have been in almost any local band on keyboards, and 2 fatty guitarists (lead & bass players). So it was a success in that I saw friends I hadn't connected with in a while, heard some good music, and managed to avoid anyone who annoyed me too much. I just hope it will tide me over for a while until I have a chance to go see Drew Holcomb next weekend, or someone else in the near future. The post-holiday dearth of rock shows seems to be receding for now.

I hate these things, but...

I'm bored so I'm going to inflict one on you anyway. I am 78 % Nerd, 26% Geek, 4% Dork: Pure Nerd For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd. The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful. Congratulations! [LINK]

Reduced to several scores

Here is the link I found at Signifying Nothing where I found most of these quizzes originally. Ta for that! The Political Compass is an interesting one. It put me between Ghandi & the Dalai Lama. Weird to think of standing literally between those 2. So I'm a Libertarian, which I already knew in the abstract but reject in the real world. I could also be a Marxist in the ideal situation, so there. See what you are in the World's Smallest Political Quiz. I scored a 61 out of 160 points on the Libertarian Purity Test. Not sure how I feel about that... I doubt most people who know me would call me a Libertarian, at any rate. But sometimes when faced with extreme views I moderate mine accordingly; in other words, I may appear more libertarian than I really am in my views on the role of the state in personal lives. Apparently I should also move to the Pacific Northwest and befriend Drew Carey (since when is he any barometer or measure of political awareness?) according to the Politopia Quiz. Humphf. As with any of these types of quizzes, I find them over-simplified to the point where I can't give an honest answer. Do I belive in this program or not? isn't as easy to answer as you might first think. Maybe I believe in the program but not as it is currently administered. Maybe I don't believe the program works but don't see a better alternative working because of something else. Then there's the issue of how the questions are written, which is never free from taint (buzzword of the week---tee-hee-hee!). Kinda relates back to first problem I mentioned---of tempering your views to match the questions more closely. Anyway, it makes you think about these things which you might not have done today. Happy quizzing!

well, that's a new one

Now both my posts have completely disappeared. Maybe Blogger is punishing me for something. Like neglect and abuse. Who knows.... Anyway, I have totally eschewed the usual nightlife/around town blogging for a while because I haven't had much of a nightlife to speak of. I have an 8am class 3 days a week, for chrissakes. But tonight Blair Combest is at the Hi-Tone and I may just make it out there, since I like his voice so much. We shall have to see, however, just how far I make it into the seamy underside of Memphis nightlife. I could go early and leave early... it's supposed to start at 9pm but you know how unreliable rock'n'roll is. Maybe I'll take a nap first. I am so very old to even think that way.

well, that's odd!

Instead of adding my pictures to yesterday's post, Blogger seems to have created a new post for today. I assure you it was not done to mess with your heads. Carry on.

Something to look forward to dreading

Memphis has been selected as the host city for the March Republican Leadership Conference. Yay. The funny thing is them naming it the Southern Republican Leadership Conference---sounds like the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, only totally different in values, attitudes, standards and principles. Ironic as I find it, I can't imagine that it bodes well that they feel Memphis is a safe haven for them. I think we have Rep. Harold Ford partly to thank for that! Let's all do our part in about 6 weeks to make them feel as unwelcome as possible in this city. Be creative. Don't just sit there, get out and harass some Fascists!

I have come to a realization:

Like Rachel D put it, Boredom breeds good blogging. And I just haven't been bored lately; I'm too busy getting life geared up again, starting a new semester, and reorganizing my stuff after being gone for the holidays. Not that all those things independently are not boring... they are. But pile them all on top of each other:

• car needing 45k mile tuneup
• me needing an internship for the semester
• shopping required for post-holiday sales
• pets needing visits to the vet
• catching a crappy cold

Now my life looks pretty busy, don'tcha think? I admit I have had some other guilty pleasures. For example, last Weds. I met some friends at the Lamplighter (if you don't know it, don't ask) for "A beer" which famously became several. Then Thurs. a friend made me dinner (red beans & rice--yum!) and we went to the Buc... where the bartender bought our drinks (hooray!) and we me some cool people cause we had posession of the booth. It was grand but we left before the show. The next night (Friday) I (well, we) went all over Midtown and apparently I did some damage to my immune system with all the beers and whatnot. I have been sickly ever since then, to varying degrees, but still not feeling up to much. But perhaps I will make a recovery and go shopping for new spectacles tomorrow, if all goes well. Oh, yeah, and I bought a new winter coat (red!) to shield me from the sleet we had tonight. I didn't want to melt or anything.

Interplanetary News Update

From the Times Online By Warren E. Leary (no relation to Dennis) January 15, 2006

A space capsule bearing comet and star dust successfully made a parachute landing in the Utah desert before dawn today, completing a 7-year journey of almost 3 billion miles that could provide clues to the formation of the solar system. ...

After its launch in 1999, Stardust circled the sun three times and even flew by Earth in 2001 for a gravity boost to rendezvous with comet Wild 2 near Jupiter. The spacecraft came within 149 miles of the comet on Jan. 2, 2004, deploying shields to protect itself from cometary dust while extending a collector filled with a material called aerogel. This low-density silicon material, called "glass smoke" because it is composed of 99.8% air, gently slowed and trapped particles without significantly altering or damaging them.

During its long cruise periods, Stardust also spent 195 days collecting the particles from stars that constantly flow through the solar system from far out in space.

Scientists believe about a million samples of comet and interstellar dust, most of them less than one-tenth the width of a human hair, are locked inside the capsule. Researchers around the world are awaiting the samples, hoping they will provide clues to the origin of the planets and other bodies in the solar system.

The grains are believed to be pristine remains of the birth of the solar system some 4.6 billion years ago. Studying comets not only provides clues to how the solar system was formed but could also help explain how certain materials and conditions combined to form life, researchers said. [LINK in case you have a NYT account]

The Intelligent Design fiends are really gonna like this! I can't wait to hear their arguments about how Genesis gives sufficient evidenct to dispute science this time.

where is all my devotion going these days?

Certainly not here. Apologies---and I know I've lost some of ya already---but I have been productive in other realms. For instance: I am looking for a job and have an interview Monday. Wish me luck; I am a crappy interviewee & need all the help I can get. Every time lately that I think of something interesting, perplexing, curious, or annoying which might be bloggable, I seem to be far away from a computer (or even a notebook). I will try to make some interesting observations soon, but in the meantime here are some borrowed ones:

• Friday the 13th in Headlines [LINK]
• Have a Golden Globes party next week [LIST]
• The Drinks on the Bus go Round After Round [LINK]
• Paul got his plate & I missed it! [link]

That's all I can spare the time for now... I'll return later in the pm if all goes well.

Am I the last one to do this?

Resolutions for 2006 and beyond: 1) Get a pony or some chickens 2) Eat less cheese 3) Travel to Canada... or somewhere cold, anyway 4) Learn another language (not sure which one) 5) Get in shape with pilates 6) Watch more movies I really don't believe in the magical power of New Year's resolutions but there is a little truth behind the sentiment. I mean that everyone wants to do something different after the holiday season winds up, and most of us have spent the past few weeks or month eating & drinking too much while exercising too little. So now is a time to pretend we're going to reform in 2006 and be better people from now on. Well, I say To Hell With Resolutions. I'm not really going to eat less cheese. And livestock isn't allowed in Midtown anyway. I may actually visit Washington state and learn French or Spanish, too... and I am taking a Pilates class. Of course, if I wanted to do something difficult with #6 I would have resolved to watch fewer movies, since I saw very few in the theatre over the last 9 months. But what I really want to do is watch more good movies, ya know, independent films and such as come out in Memphis. My point is that none of these things are decisions I made because of the end of the year, and they are all things I wanted to do last year. Time is all a matter of perspective, really, and it's up to us to make things happen---the end of the year isn't going to do anything for us that the last 12 months haven't done. Suck it up and make it happen if you really want to do something so badly! Sorry 'bout that, but I just read an email from a lazy friend who wants to feel sorry for himself all day and doesn't want to contribute to society. That should be enough resolution for anyone not to be a sad sack but get out and mooooove. Like I'm about to do: to a bar with friends. Happy New Year!