juggling

Serrabee is going to try her hand at juggling dates. I haven't ever really done it, since I hate being juggled myself, but I think it's the best way to keep from being serious with one guy. Why avoid that? It's just a pattern I seem to have developed without much noticing; the old me was a free spirit who didn't want to settle down. I miss her. The new me seems to be a long-term relationship junkie who invests too much in them. So, in order to spend more time & energy on me, I will curtail the serious dating. It's really just a theory at this point, but I'll let you know how it goes. So far there are just two horses in the game, two pretty different types as far as I can tell. Both cute in their own ways, one a really intense guy and the other a really laid-back guy. They are both weird, and anyone who knows me understands I like 'em a little strange. Unfortunately for you, I'm afraid of putting too much detail on here unless you promise not to spread the word about my secret identity. Just don't want to hurt any feelings, that's all... (I know, that sounds out of character, doesn't it?). Anyway, this comes after a long hiatus during which I didn't meet a single man who was not either too old, or had kids (ick), or just didn't appeal to me---the operative word being single, cause I met a few hot guys who were already taken, sadly. I just don't feel like settling down after just over 6 months on the market. Why do I feel I have to justify this?

Why aren’t you married yet?

Seriously, does anyone's family really ask this? I'd want out of that circle of uncouth persons... . I am lucky enough not to have verbal pressure from my family to marry, but the fact that they all were coupled off well before they were 30 is pressure of its own. Not many divorces in my family, either. An aunt & an uncle, plus one of my grandfather's sisters is all. Is that weird in a nation where there's a 50% chance of my marriage ending in divorce?

‘Why aren’t you married yet?’ By Kimberly Dawn Neumann Whether you’re single and loving it or desperately seeking Mr./Ms. Right, being hounded about your relationship status is annoying. And yet it seems to be a perfectly acceptable topic of conversation at festive family functions this time of year. In preparation for holiday party season, we asked everyone from social experts to comedians for the best answers to the “Why are you still single?” question.

1. Save your ego by boosting your questioner’s (basically, change the subject to them. people love this tactic as it allows them to talk about their favorite topic)
2. Make your point with an extreme example (one man's extreme example is another woman's truth)
3. Bait-and-switch your response (another way to change the subject. this one sounds like it uses gossip)
4. Make them wish they hadn’t asked (or, be mean. serrabee doesn't encourage direct rudeness---remember, cattiness is much more effective)
5. Inspire jealousy because you’re still single (again, the truth---for almost all of us)
6. Shrug it off with a snappy comeback (if you have to premeditate a snappy comeback it probably doesn't qualify as such)
7. Drop some science on the situation (my favorite approach!)
8. Smile and move on with savvy (classy, though not the way they make it sound

So, remember kids: This holiday season when people shove their enquiring noses where they just don't belong, don't get your feelings hurt. Remember that people who ask this question don't really want to hear the truth, your opinion, or anything else. They just want to be a$$holes!

Happy Holidays

Loved this story on battling Christmas pop-culture politics. It just seems so appropriate for our secular/religious nation. I love Lowculture. I will be away for Turkey Day, but I know y'all will find ways to amoose yourselves. Watch The Grinch or The Peanuts special or something.

Everyone Loves a Narcissist

I have a few new peeping toms. Welcome! It seems word of my blog has gotten out, by which I mean that people outside of the group I actually gave it to now have the address. Which would not be a problem, as long as I knew that:

A) I actually know who it spread to ( a few people I know & therefore might blog about); and

B) it would stop with these few people (and not get out to, say, all the cute boys I meet).

Not likely to spread like wildfire throught the Midtown Memphis social sphere (but, hey, it might happen) so I'm not too concerned. But it is weird to think that people I know are reading about my thoughts without me actually knowing it. It is verbal voyeurism in a way.

Crying shame as streetwise giant radish is cut down in its prime

November 18, 2005 From Richard Lloyd Parry in Tokyo UNTIL it was tragically cut short, the life of Dokonjo Daikon was an inspiration to all who knew him. Born in obscurity, he overcame the sternest of obstacles to rise to prominence in his small town. Loved by his neighbours, he became a symbol of the Japanese virtue of perseverance against the odds. People came from far and wide to wish him well — until a brutal attack this week that left him critically injured. It is all the more remarkable because Little Dai, as he is fondly known, is not a human being, but a plant; a long, thick, white daikon, or Japanese giant radish. For the past few weeks newspaper readers and television viewers have been gripped by the vegetable drama unfolding in the small western town of Aioi. Daikon are among the most common of Japanese edible roots, and Little Dai was remarkable in only one respect: rather than growing in the fields, he was an urban radish who pushed himself up through solid asphalt on a roadside pavement. He first appeared in July and, rather than extracting him and filling in the hole, the local council honoured him with a signboard bearing the words: “Observe with affection”. Locals christened him Dokonjo Daikon, “the daikon with fighting spirit”, or, more colloquially, “the radish with balls”. [link]

Walk the Line Update

UPDATE: Finally, the Washington Post reveiw. Briefly:

Boy nurtures nascent talent, boy suffers primal loss, boy meets girl, boy meets drugs, boy loses girl, boy kicks drugs, boy gets girl, boy is redeemed. From "Ray" to "Beyond the Sea" to last week's "Get Rich or Die Tryin' " and now "Walk the Line," each has hit exactly the same notes, with only a slightly different order or permutation.

Huh, no mention of The Chin. Curious. I guess the word "mutation" made me think it was coming.

The other chief problem in "Walk the Line" is the performances. Although Phoenix eventually succeeds in disappearing into Cash the way Spacek did into Loretta Lynn, Witherspoon never once lets viewers forget that they're watching her and only her. She may have it in her to be a good dramatic actress, but she might have been better advised to try a smaller canvas before tackling such a monumental role.

Or maybe, just maybe, it's That Chin. It always interferes with the willing suspension of disbelief.

At last! Organ Thief tonight

Thanks to the Memphis Scene, I finally found out about an Organ Thief show in advance! They play tonight at Murphy's, a decent (if loud & teeny-tiny) venue for live music. They also have wi-fi and one of those online jukeboxes that cost $20 a song or something. Chuh. I'm supposed to be working today but instead I am hanging out with Max & Sunshine, these two:

Lesbian Karaoke

Yes, I was at the Madison Flame for karaoke last night. While I would not normally be into stereotyping the patrons of such a place, it must be noted that lesbians just don't look like us. Gay men can---and often do---pass for being 'one of the guys' to those less in tune with subcultures. It takes a special person (do you have gaydar?) to spot 'em every time. And I'm not saying lesbians who want to pass for straight can't---and don't---do so all the time. But no one there last night was trying to hide it. The thing you noticed walking in was the preponderance of lesbian hairstyles, first and foremost. The bad 80's hair was overwhelming to someone who spends her days in a place that's 45% African American women. Seriously, if you see bad hair at the U of M it's probably on an older, fat white lady. The majority of women there just have good hair. But I digress. There were the obligatory mullets, of course, which is a given. The shorter hair was almost uniform except in color: short, curly, sprayed into a helmet with super-short bangs. Usually seemed to be frosted or at least blonde. Can't short hair be cute anymore? Remember when Ally Sheedy had short hair, or when Alyssa Milano cut hers in the pixie style? Apparently the lesbian masses do not. They apparently redecorated since the one time I was there a half million years ago. It's neat when you first look, a combination of honky-tonk and danceclub, but on second look the ceiling is papered with aluminum foil and there are mannequin torsos suspended from the ceiling. I still thought it was neat, and also really liked the moving Marilyn Monroe neon wall decor (her skirt blows up, of course!). What was I doing there, you ask? Well, not lesbian karaoke---I never sang. It was a birthday clebration for a gay friend of mine. The strangest thing is that I'm planning to go to another gay (or bisexual, possibly) friend's birthday tomorrow night. AT A KARAOKE BAR! Too strange.

Walk the Line

I've never seen a stranger and more random cluster of semi-celebrities than those pictured at the Walk the Line premiere. I hope that's not a precursor of how well the film will draw non-celebs. The only names I did recognize were: Dan Akroyd (not exactly a top-notch red carpet guest) Beau Bridges (wha?) Bill Paxton (huh?) Julie Delpy (how did she get in there?) Jane Seymour (seriously a has been) Lisa Rinna (Soap Talk crackhead) Dermot Mulroney (still hot but suddenly gray-headed) Keith Carradine (only as David's brother, though) Anywayz, the movie opens here next weekend, so if you're just dying to see for yourself who will be there, you can.

The X-word

I love the NYT, although it may seem otherwise to people who hear me talk of every other publication known (or unknown) to humankind. But this piece on unspeakable speech was cute enough for me to pinch its little cheeks (proverbially). Highlights from papers across the nation, and I did find some obscure ones there (like Memphis' own Commercial Appeal). [via Morning News]

The weekend review

It has been a lovely weekend, and for a change I actually went out Thurs., Fri. AND Sat. nights! I've been a bit of a homebody lately, so it was nice to get back out there. Thursday night was a compulsory theatre experience, so I'm not sure that counts as going out (but I can't be choosy these days, so I'm putting it on the list). I am looking forward to the performance of Einstein's Dreams next month, though. Friday evening I went out with an old friend I haven't seen much in the past few months, not sure why exactly but something always seems to come up. We just hit the Blue Monkey to talk & people-watch. Ya know how at first it was post-college age people, but had gotten to be a bunch of old men in the past few years? Well, either it's getting younger again or I'm getting older (or both?). There was some sort of music I couldn't really identify but it wasn't too loud or obnoxious, so we stayed a few hours. I saw absolutely no one I know, though I'm not sure what that means. Saturday I had planned just to stay in since I felt bad about not going to the Pickwick slumber party for my friend's birthday. (Maybe I'll send him a gay strip-o-gram at his workplace instead.) But my drinkin' buddy and her boyfriend were going for sushi & asked me along---and I, of course, love sushi and could not resist. We skipped across the street for some beers at Old Zinnie's after, but couldn't even out our consumption (it seems they were a little hungover & so I drank faster) and I ended up having 4 beers, so of course I'm feeling a little gross and bloated today. So much for Miller Lite, eh. I did get out & walk the puppy around the 'hood, so now I feel better but perhaps not well enough to go play tennis on the ghetto courts as we'd planned. It seems more like a day for curling up on the sofa & reading a good book. Unfortunately, all I have is crap on hermeneutics to read. Still, it could be worse I s'pose.

I am sooo lazy...

...so lazy that:

1. I don't want to go to my dear friend's birthday party tonight because it involves preparation (packing a shack-pack) and travel (to Pickwick, almost 2 hrs' drive away).
2. I didn't get dressed all morning yesterday. Fortunately, I didn't leave home til 1pm (also a signal of my laziness).
3. I didn't take out the recycling for 3 weeks. Too much trouble--the damn crate needs wheels on it, but they only do that for old people. Well, I'm gettin' there, ain't I?
4. I've got a basket of clean laundry that's been sitting in my room so long I think I will have to throw it back in the dryer to fluff out the wrinkles.
5. I can't be troubled to come up with any interesting posts lately (probably more a function of being busy than anything else).

Now we're getting somewhere

Asterisks Dot White House's Iraq Argument By Dana Milbank and Walter Pincus Washington Post November 12, 2005 President Bush and his national security adviser have answered critics of the Iraq war in recent days with a two-pronged argument: that Congress saw the same intelligence the administration did before the war, and that independent commissions have determined that the administration did not misrepresent the intelligence. Neither assertion is wholly accurate. The administration's overarching point is true: Intelligence agencies overwhelmingly believed that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, and very few members of Congress from either party were skeptical about this belief before the war began in 2003. Indeed, top lawmakers in both parties were emphatic and certain in their public statements. But Bush and his aides had access to much more voluminous intelligence information than did lawmakers, who were dependent on the administration to provide the material. And the commissions cited by officials, though concluding that the administration did not pressure intelligence analysts to change their conclusions, were not authorized to determine whether the administration exaggerated or distorted those conclusions. [via AmericaBlog] Finally the MSM is picking apart the story a little more; however, notice which paper this appeared in (NOT the NY Times, who led with Bush's propaganda today and yesterday; not the LA Times, seen by some as the 2nd most influential paper in the nation, who copied their rival for 1st place; and not the capital's other paper, who dittoed the "top" news outlets.) Bravo, I say, to the Washington Post, bravo!

C-R-A-Z-Y

Wal-Mart Turns in Student’s Anti-Bush Photo, Secret Service Investigates Him

By Matthew Rothschild

October 4, 2005

[...North Carolina high school social studies teacher Selina] Jarvis had assigned her senior civics and economics class “to take photographs to illustrate their rights in the Bill of Rights,” she says. One student “had taken a photo of George Bush out of a magazine and tacked the picture to a wall with a red thumb tack through his head. Then he made a thumbs down sign with his own hand next to the President’s picture, and he had a photo taken of that, and he pasted it on a poster.”

According to Jarvis, the student, who remains anonymous, was just doing his assignment, illustrating the right to dissent.

But over at the Kitty Hawk Wal-Mart, where the student took his film to be developed, this right is evidently suspect. An employee in that Wal-Mart photo department called the Kitty Hawk police on the student. And the Kitty Hawk police turned the matter over to the Secret Service.

[Jarvis] had to talk to the Secret Service.

“Halfway through my afternoon class, the assistant principal got me out of class and took me to the office conference room,” she says. “Two men from the Secret Service were there. They asked me what I knew about the student. I told them he was a great kid, that he was in the homecoming court, and that he’d never been in any trouble.”

Then they got down to his poster.

“They asked me, didn’t I think that it was suspicious,” she recalls. “I said no, it was a Bill of Rights project!”

At the end of the meeting, they told her the incident “would be interpreted by the U.S. attorney, who would decide whether the student could be indicted,” she says.

The student was not indicted, and the Secret Service did not pursue the case further.

“I blame Wal-Mart more than anybody,” [Jarvis] says. “I was really disgusted with them. But everyone was using poor judgment, from Wal-Mart up to the Secret Service.”

This is real news, not bizarro world news.

Two dozen uses for dryer sheets?

Okay, so I'm too lazy to forward this but it did amuse me. It's an email from my Mom's best friend, who is notorious for forwarding small-minded political and fundamentalist Christian email messages to me (she couldn't be more different from my mom ideologically---how did they get to be friends?). Thanks, but no thanks. This was a pleasant break from the usual:

My mail carrier told me that the US Postal service sent out a message to all letter carriers to put a sheet of Bounce in their uniform pockets to keep yellow-jackets away. All this time you've just been putting Bounce in the dryer! It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them. It also repels mice. Spread sheets around foundation areas, or in trailers, or cars that are sitting and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened too often. It repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season. Eliminate static electricity from your television (or computer) screen. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling. Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce. To freshen the air in your home, place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet. Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew. Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing. To freshen the air in your car - Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat. Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond between the food and the pan. Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs. Eliminate static electricity from Venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling. Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight. Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away. Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. It will keep them smelling fresh. Quick, "Bounce" this on within the next 5 minutes! Nothing will happen if you don't, but your friends will be glad to hear these hints!

Here it is on Snopes. It is interesting to note that the entire message references Bounce dryer sheets as if they were the only ones with these mystical properties. It may be a conspiracy---perhaps the parent company is a right-wing fundamentalist Christian-owned one.

giving the people what they want

Here you go-- The Editors live & in living color!

The Best of Memphis??

Has everyone seen the Flyer's BOM poll results yet? If graffitti and neon constitute the "Best of Memphis" culturally, we're in trouble. Not that I don't appreciate these things as their own art form, but it sucks living in a second-tier city that sees postindustrial byproducts of modern advertising as the best is has to offer. And the "A-list" on local blogs is just stupid. Their own Pesky Fly was #1. Wow, is that ever nepotism at its best... they didn't mention all his twin photos in their ranking. Just surprised they didn't name their own blog as the city's best. Well, it's new---wait til next year. And the best national blogs: Talking Points (yawn) Daily Kos (conservative but sometimes fun) Eschaton (eyah) and the Booman blog. (I'll give them that) I agree with Crooks and Liars too, but maybe not in the top 5. I did enjoy the inside story's photo of Raiford's with the lights on, which is a sight I've never actually seen firsthand. I also liked the A-list concerts section, but thought it was stupid to do legends instead of best of 2005. But whatever. Hey, Flyer guys, why not do a "Best of" on Memphians next year, without all the stupid references to Elvis and Justin Timberlake? Or a best new venture, so we can talk about good stuff (not just neon and graffitti). I love the MLA language map. On one level, it is an interesting window into American culture; on a simpler one it has pretty colors...

World's Gayest Album

In a glorious return to her roots Madonna has made the world's gayest album, says Peter Paphides. [via Times Online] It must be a source of reassurance to any gay pop icon to know that no matter how crummy her last career move, she can always come back. Indeed, the great thing about being a gay icon is that a few wrong turns and public mistakes serve only to make you even more of a gay icon. [read entire article] Boy, does this description remind me of Cher (though Paphides uses Kylie Minogue as his example). Just how many farewell tours/albums did Cher have? And isn't she still performing?

Pop Kultur

Is anyone going to see Jarhead? Apparently, a film about nothing: "Beautiful tedium is still tedium," says The Flipside; "puzzlingly hollow" says Seattle's Stranger; and more bitingly from the NY Times: a footnote - a minor movie about a minor war, and a film that feels, at the moment, remarkably irrelevant." Hmmm. I kind of like movies about nothing, wherein nothing happens, without heroes. It's more like real life that way. Happy Holidays!

I love this photo:

It's sad when something like that can make my f'ing day. Sad, sad. If you haven't already, please join Move On to protest Samuel Alito's nomination. Judge Alito is commonly known as "Scalito" because he follows the far-right judicial philosophy of Justice Antonin Scalia. Ask yourself: Do I really want another Justice Scalia on the Supreme Courts? Read about him at SavetheCourt.org if you're not sure how awful he is yet. Bush is creating a legacy that will haunt us for decades to come. Signing the petition is quick & painless, and is one of the only things that will protect us from rabid conservatives like Alito. [photo via lowculture]