Ack! Shooooooes!!!!

I have no appropriate shoes to wear! Why does this always happen? I have dozens of pairs in my closets, under my bed, even inside the windowseat--why are none of them piratey?

I may have to rethink the tattoos. The makeup is done & fake eyelashes are on, because how many times a year do you get to wear them? Probably only once or twice. (Hopefully you don't wear them every weekend, cause that would be crazy and sort of slutty-looking.) Other than finding shoes, I am ready to dress. I will do a test run with tall black boots & see how it goes.