Places to meet chicks

I am writing this as an expert in the subject, not because I'm great at meeting girls, or have ever tried to be. I'm sure that if I did, I'd find more challenges than I can imagine. But I'm writing as a local, who is also a girl, and who's been single quite often. I actually have roughly 1,000 times more fun as a single chick in Midtown than I ever have dating anyone. Maybe this says something about my choices in boymatter, or maybe Memphis is just a fun town to be single and a chick.

Where not to meet chicks, in brief: Rooftop parties (nasty), Flying Sausage (should be called that, anyway), weddings (gag!), Hooters (srsly), karaoke nights (unless you are the weirdo who goes every week, and then you might as well save some normal person by dating another karaoke-obsessed weirdo). And NOT at work. Ever. Yes, many people actually still do this, for some reason. I have heard so many horror stories about this, y'all don't even want to know. And if it goes anywhere, one of you will have to find a new job, which sucks a big 'un.

So, to all those who want to meet single ladies, here are my suggestions: Cooking class. If she's with someone (and your gaydar doesn't go off) she probably dragged him along, but all the solo women are likely single. At the worst, you've learned how to cook something to impress your next date. Voila!

Volunteering around town. You get maximum exposure if you sign up for something like Hands On/Volunteer Memphis. It allows you to sample from dozens of volunteer opportunities without long-term commitment (which we all fear, right? Well, I hope that's not just me...). That also means meeting a lot of different people, most of whom are female. Plus, at the end of the day you get that bonus feel-good moment of knowing you've done something to help the community. So you don't meet anyone, so what? Maybe you'll be a better person for it.

The gym. But not in the weight room—check out aerobics, or yoga, or kickboxing. Whatever class you see women in is a good bet. Maybe she didn't come there to meet men, but after class when you're all sweaty is prime time for chit chat, what with all the endorphins rushing around. If you can't think of anything to say, ask about the class and how long it will take before it gets easier, what else she recommends. We love to be asked for our perspective on things (keep that one in mind, boys).

Dance class. Just don't pick bellydance or a Dance Like a Stripper type of class. Not only is that creepy, to have to be in class with a guy, you're certainly not going to look your best. Pick something where she can't really see you wiggling your hips around, and something really basic so you don't stand out. Maybe even take a couple 1-on-1 lessons before you show up, so you look really smooth. Just don't admit you've taken them. And let the instructor in on it, by asking them not to call you out cause you're shy about your skills.

Pool/darts tournaments. Fun is challenging someone you don't even know to a friendly game of darts or pool. If the two of you can't compete in a friendly way, the relationship probably isn't going far. Again, even if you don't meet someone to spend the rest of your life, with, what else were you doing? Flying Saucer is like a dart tournament every day, so you could start there. However, it's hellatiously loud and not a great place to get a conversation started.

Coffee shops. Especially on open mic nights, when chatter may be at a minimum, but so is space (so you might end up sharing a table with others). Republic has one on Tuesdays, The Edge does theirs on Sunday, and if I'm missing one, please comment below and let us all in on the action.

Friends of friends. Tell people you're available. Ask your friends for fixups. Someone will probably get the idea to throw one of those parties where you bring someone dateable of the opposite sex.

Out & about. You're not meeting anyone sitting at home, and shouldn't be dating coworkers, as we've previously discussed. Plus, Memphis in June is a great place/time to get out! I suggest going to shows, plays, the zoo and talk to people everywhere you go. Take your dog to the park, or borrow one if you have to. Make excuses to talk to people, and don't just talk to the hottest girl. Chicks love to go to stuff like theater in groups, so you can always stake out the restrooms at intermission or snack bar before the show and ask where the hot spot is to go afterward. That's non-threatening enough that you may actually get the answer “We'll probably go to...” and it won't be a lie!

A few caveats: If you are also dating other people, make it clear almost immediately. No one has a problem with it, if it's honest from the beginning (almost no one, anyway). EVERYone has an issue if it's sprung on them too far into things. Don't expect miracles. You probably won't meet a keeper on your first, or maybe even your tenth try. But it's better than sitting around alone watching tv. The key is in numbers. Meet the most people you can to maximize your time. Just don't expect to go home with the group of 6 girls at the end of the night (chances are you couldn't handle it anyway). Guys, look for a ring! If she's got something shiny on her left hand, ring finger (that's next to the pinkie), leave her be. Or ask her if she has a single friend who's as lovely as she.